Teachers for Vietnam @ Can Tho!



Well I'm in Singapore! Who knows why I make the decisions I do. But I'm here! This country is amazing. The city is SO clean and beautiful. But so so so expensive. It's ridiculous. I've overstayed my welcome, but going to stay one more day and fly back to Vietnam for NYE. I miss it. I keep seeing things that remind me of Vietnam and I get all nostalgic and I think, I'm so lucky I'm going back! I'm going to be miserable when I return. I actually am sort of afraid to go home. I've changed a lot and I'm only halfway through this experience! My closest friends have kept up with my and my crazy thoughts, but I know for sure things won't be the same when I get back. I'm not the same person so I intend on moving somewhere where I don't have to fall into the same traps. I read this book called Buddha or Bust... I highly recommend it if you are at all interested in Buddhism, or just reading an interesting book. A journalist went on a trip around the world to follow Buddhism and how it became what it is today, and how it spread across the world. Anyway there were two things I wanted to share. One was this quote about exactly how I feel. He was talking about his own travels and he said,

"As nervous as I was about taking off on this journey, I was getting equally nervous about the prospect of its end... it meant that the magic dust would wear off, that I would be drowning in receipts & financial problems, back problems, and relationship problems. Once the trip was over I worried that I would fall into the same old rut I'd been in before." A little bit more dramatic then I would have put it, but I could have written that. We even have the same specific problems haha. Anyway, I'm not overwhelmed with these thoughts yet, but I know that I will be.

Another good quote from a not worth mentioning book was "The ocean a blank slate, as today becomes yesterday and we cross into tomorrow. It's the closest I'll get to time travel. I like the idea of going into the future and am already lamenting my imminent return to the past."

Anyway, I digress. Buddha or Bust had another great part that I actually coppied down because I wanted to share with you all. It was written by a Jewish / Buddhist / Comic. His name is Wes Nisker. In a stand up show he presented his idea of Zen Socialism - "letting go together" for all literal purposes. Anyway, I thought it was completely brilliant and if I were president.. well,

"The first step would be for the US to resign as a super power. As an ordinary nation, we would redirect our $500 billion a year defense budget to build the greatest education and health systems in the world. To ease the transition I'd introduce a plan, not unlike the New Deal, called the New Age Deal, or the Great Leap Backward. I would establish a US Department of Meditation & Therapy, with deprogramming centers to teach hyperactive people to become less productive members of a less productive society. Then we'd put them to work on disassembling lines shoveling metal back into the ground and deconstructing highways. We'd invite third world countries to send volunteers to teach us how to live with less and how to take siestas. Then we would do what we do best: entertain. We'd invite everyone to witness the worlds 1st international decline and fall at a theme park called Formally Great America. The downhill rides would be spectacular."

I'm not really sure how to follow that, so I'll just change the subject. I would also recommend theh book Dry by Augusten Burroughs. It its very similar to A Million Little Pieces, but a very real book, and a quick read. He also wrote Running with Siccors, which was just as good, if you haven't read that yet. Unfortunately out of all of the books I've read those are the only two I want to recommend. I will admit, however, that I have a book buying problem and I have about ten in my backpack right now. So hopefully at least one of those will be worth sharing again. I also read The Unbearable Lightness of Being, which was perhaps too intense for me at the moment, but it is one of those books that will mean something different to you every time you read it, which I love about a book. So if you're into it, you should also read that one.

And as if I don't have enough quotes in this one particular blog (what do you call one blog - one message? I don't know the correct term) I found another one, also from Buddha or Bust (author: Perry Garfinkel) that restates what I'm doing here on the other side of the world.

"That pilgrammage was about discovering the road, about fathoming the scope of the world and the billions of lives lived every day somewhere without me knowing about them"

I love it when an author is inside of my head. I just started reading Revolutionary Road (which is apparently a new movie) so don't tell me what you thought about the movie before I'm done reading. I also read Twilight- I gave in 1) because i was at a book exchange and it was the only tempting offer and 2) because i never game in to Harry Potter, or anything other trilogy or whatever for anything and a few people really don't understand why I haven't. So I gave in - and I was thoroughly disappointed. I really wanted to be hooked - keep going back for me. But it really didn't do anything for me. Anyway Sarah and I went to see it in Bangkok, and I just really didn't like the movie either. And I don't get this whole Edward Cullen phenom - he's not that good looking! So, I tried, but sorry I'm not going to get on that bandwagon.

A new obsession: this song. I heard about all of this a while ago, but one of my students did a presentation on this and I love this song. The lyrics are pretty powerful. And of course the whole "Free Hugs Campaign" was really great, too. I want one of those shirts.

Happy Holidays! Next time I write I'll be HOME in Can Tho :-)

A woman squeezes herself into a transparent suitcase to raise awareness of human trafficking and mark the 60th anniversary of the Universal Declaration of Human Rights.



Thanks to Marisa for sending that to me. I will never have the balls to do something like that. But thank god someone does. It sure does make you think. On lighter, related news, I may have an internship with the Asia Foundation working with a group of woman to prevent them from becoming victims of trafficking. More info to come..

Jessie just put up a new song on her blog, listen to it. I keep playing it on repeat. I love her. For so many reasons. One being she is an amazing friend, but mostly though, I admire her for being able to say whatever is on her mind. Why can't I ever do that? She also gets the point across, in a way that a lot of people don't have the guts to. You never have to guess with her, you don't have to be afraid to be yourself around her, and she won't put up with your bullshit. She also will take you shopping to make you feel better haha. Just a little ode to her, I'm missing my best friends today.

Also, thanks to Jo for finding me a job when I get back.

I'm currently in Kuala Lumpur, leaving tomorrow to go somewhere else in Malaysia (to be determined tonight, as I read my lonely planet to help me fall asleep these days..) and then I've decided to go to Singapore, then HOME. To Can Tho that is. I don't have money to keep going, and since Singapore is the most expensive, I figure that will be a good place to stop. I have so much to say about everything. When I walk around all day, random thoughts pop into my head, which I sometimes stop to jot down in my journal, but whenever I come online I don't know how to share everything with you guys. Maybe that will get easier once I'm stationed again. I miss having a home base. I don't know how people do this for a year at a time. Although I guess if I had the funds, I would enjoy it a lot more. Anyway, sorry I've been lame with country updates, I just don't have the energy to type it all up yet. I can tell you though, that I LOVE Malaysia. Possible even more than Thailand.. although I've only been to one city so I can't make any rash decisions yet. It is an amazing place though, I can't wait to put my pictures up and share some stories with you guys (if I can get to that..)

I am just missing people right now. My friends are really great, and I'm looking forward to a few packages when I get back to Can Tho, which is really exciting. There are people who keep letting me down though, and I wish that wasn't true. I've dealt with all of the bs I left behind, and I'm generally in a really great place, which is a huge part of the reason I left, so I'm really happy about all of that. But I guess some people will never change, which is just something I have to accept. And other people have just fallen off the map completely, which I guess I also have to accept, since I'm the one who chose to move halfway across the world. I'm just tired of being let down by people, but I suppose thats a part of this whole learning process.

Anyway, other then that rant, everything is good. I probably miss you, but I'll catch up to everyone once I get back, I promise! This is one of my favorite things ever:

Well finally taking the time to put up some pictures and write some things down! I'm currently in Krabi, Thailand. On a beautiful island. I'm impossibly tan, and not upset about that at all. This trip has been unbelievable! There have been multiple moments where I have stopped to consider whether or not this is really happening.. but alas, it is.

Final thoughts on Cambodia: I spent ten days there, and it was more then enough. Don't get me wrong, it was absolutely amazing, and like everything else I've done, has opened my eyes up to more then I thought was possible. Look at all the pictures I put up, it really was beautiful, in a way that only a third world country can be. You can see how hard it has been in the past three decades to move on from war and try to make lives for themselves. The countryside is beautiful, but there is a sense of sadness everywhere I went. That being said, the entire country is one big tourist trap. I feel bad saying that, because I assume that is where most of their money comes from, but its unbelievable. They use USD there, which completely threw me off, but they constantly try to rip you off. The thing is, they can, because there are people that will give thema ridiculous amount of money because it means more to them.. but after my time there I was DONE bargaining and just was itching to get to Thailand. Overall, it is an amazing place, filled with history, but as I was following many of the tours I felt like I was at an amusement park, following the crowds and taking pictures of all of the same things over and over again. The killing fields and the genocide museum really hit home, don't take the pictures lightly because I actually felt a little sick and left before I was done looking at everything. Of course, I already wrote how Sihanoukville was amazing, but then Siem Reap was very much a tourist trap, and I was glad to head to Bangkok.

I had slight reverse culture chock when I got Bangkok. First of all, I met Marisa's friend Sarah, who was awesome and spent the better part of two weeks with her. She is doing were Co-op there, so it was nice to see a different part of Bangkok then the normal tourists see. The city is HUGE, bigger than NYC, and screaming all things western, but still contains the quickiness of Asia, and the fabulous Ladyboys. It was like a western city, and I did have a little trouble adjusting. But after a slight panic attack (that may have been fueled by Starbucks, as opposed to the Nescafe I usually drink) I eventually got the hang of taking the Sky Tran (above ground subway) and finding my way around the city. Sarah and I spent a night out trying to decide whether the topless dancers for girls or guys (we had no choice, there was nothing else to do) and I also spent some time feeding an elephant, which you should have already seen the pictures of. It was great to spend time wit Sarah, we shared stories of NU friends, stupid college things we've done, or that our friends have done, and it was nice to be around someone who was on the same page as me. After a few fabulous days in Bangkok we took the overnight train to Phuket, an Island in Southern Thailand.

Since then we have been island hopping. We took a boat to Phi Phi Island and snorkeled near coral reefs, swam with fishes, etc. (this is all in the Adaman Sea) We also spent time on a few other islands such as Krabi, Ton Sai, Railay Beach, and tomorrow I leave for Ko Lanta. We also spent a day Kayacking through one of the islands caves and mangrove forests, where monkeys roamed free, and even jumped on out boat. Then (while I was TERRIFIED) he ate a piece of pinnapple off of my leg! So many exciting things are happening I can't even spend the time explaining them all. This traveling life is getting pretty ridiculous. I've already spent most of my money, although I have quite a bit of time left. The only thing to do besides laying all the beach all day (and the sun is freakishly strong, so you can't even do that) is swiming in the warm and very clear water, and then eating, drinking, and shopping. It's getting tiring.

That was a super brief update, but it took forever to put up pictures and I can't afford to stay on here any longer. My Thai Visa is up on the 21st, so I'll be continuing Island hoping until then. Then.. who knows. I'm thinking Malaysia.

Three photo albums are up! They are of Angkor Wat and Bangkok. I still have about 500 more, but you'll just have to be patient because I'm on the way TO THE BEACH. :)

Happy Human Rights Day!

(Click there)

It's been really bugging me that I didn't really finish my thoughts on the whole American/European rant. Although Doug wrote quite a good response, and you should read his comment. What I meant to really get into is the fact that Americans just don't seem to even consider it. It's straight to college, straight to work. And so many people don't even enjoy what they are doing, and have never had the chance to see what else is out there. You can say its the culture shock, but its the same for Europeans, but somehow they have the mindset that its OK to take time off. And it is! Boy have I engrained that into my head. I am backpacking through Southeast Asia by myself, but there are SO many other people doing it. It's really the easiest thing ever. And it's so cheap (once you get here..) It sure does add up quickly though.. But it is a good point that its easier to travel where you know someone. Fleeing to Vietnam by myself wasn't that appealing to many people, but it was a great decision! And now, you know ME, so I would appreciate some visitors...

I am now in Siem Reap, going to see Angkor Wat tomorrow (see the Cambodian flag if your not sure what that is!) I use to love the traveling part, trains, buses, I've done it all so many times, I love airports, etc. Something about it all excites me. But traveling here has turned me into bitch! Whenever you arrive to a destination you are BOMBARDED by moto drivers. They literally stand in your way so much so that you have to push through them to get off the bus and to find your luggage. All the while have them screaming in your ear "You want moto lady?" "You want tuk-tuk?" Over and over again.. Its annoying because yes, I do want a moto, but I don't know where I'm going, and Iwould like to take a few minutes to find my bag and pull myself together enough to figure out where the hell I am. They don't understand that much English, so I just put my head down and keep saying no until I can walk far enough away where I only have five guys harrasing me intead of twenty. Then of course, its the race to find a guesthouse. The drivers get a commision from certain guesthouses, so they work hard to convince you that is where you want to stay. Last night (in bitch mode) my driver brought me to a different part of town then I asked to go. I took out a map and said "NO. I asked to go HERE." The place was nice enough but it was in the middle of freaking no where. So I sat in my tuk-tuk and I said "Take me there now." He said "Okay, two dollar." "No- you said ONE dollar until I found a place." "Two" "One" "Okay lets go." This took a few minutes and drew quite a crowd, but he drove me into town and I only paid a dollar. Sometimes being a bitch pays off... I'm in the best place ever! I'm paying $8 a night (way out of my price range) but I have a confortable mattress in a real room. A tv, my own bathroom, WITH hot water. I was SO happy when I was settled last night. I took the longest shower and it was so fantastic. Then I had a great nights sleep. I would say I am the least high maintenence person I know, but for $8 a night, I deserve a ilttle luxury now and then.

Some thoughts on Asia -

Food. Still amazing, everywhere I go. I have tried all of the local Khmer dishes, including Amok and Luc Lok, but since I don't have this availability in Can Tho, I"ve also indulged in western things like omlettes and pizza and french fries. Sometimes you just need to. My favorite foods overall are fresh spring rolls (although fried are amazing too, I'm trying to stay away) and Fried Rice, of any variety.

Markets. I don't understand them. A positive - you can literally find anything at all you might ever want/need/wear/use... anything. But what a hassle!! Everything is piled on top of one another and the aisles are SO narrow and there are people everywhere yelling at you "You buy miss" "You buy from me now" "You want scarf" Etc. I usually end up buying things from the people who don't hassle me, because I like them better. Which brings me to the next thing I don't understand...

Bargaining. I just don't get it. They ask for $10, I say $5. From there it goes a little something like this... 9, no 5, 8, 5, 7, 5, 6- its my final offer. 5- its my final offer. okay 5. Seriously! You know you are going to agree with me, why are you wasting my time. Its the same for moto drivers. They say something and I say one. If they don't agree I just walk away, there is another moto every five seconds and someone will take my dollar. As soon as you walk away the guy pulls up beside you and says "Okay one dollar, get on" It's a ridiculous sytem. I definitely miss fixed pricing.

Bathrooms. For those of you who have the benefit of being able to pee standing up, congratulations. For everyone else, practicing the art of squatting is quite the experience. Not only this, but men pee everywhere. I can't even tell you the number of men I've seen peeing. Just right on the side of the road. MUST BE NICE. While you, the bus driver, can pull over at any moment you wish and hop off the bus and pee rightt here, and then get back on the road, we, the female riders, have to hold it in until we reach a rest stop. We also have to always carry around toilet paper with us. Which has become a part of the daily routine while getting ready in the morning. "Wallet, check. Money, check. Toilet paper,check." Also, hot water is a hot commodity. I haven't had it up until now, but when he told me for $1 I could have hot water I said, sure why not. The water heater is already in my bathroom, and the guy wont turn it on unless I give him an extra dollar a night. It certainly is nice though...

Anyway, I'll be here for a few days and then off to Bangkok! I've always always always wanted to go to Thailand and I am super excited for it! I think I'll post some pictures from there too, I have seen the most amazing sunsets that I really want to show you guys. Miss you!

I believe I've found heaven on earth.

But lets back up a bit.. I still have a lot to say on Thanksgiving and Cambodian history and the wonder of why no one ever taught me the history of southeast asia. I didn't learn a thing in any of my history classes, so I guess it wouldn't have made a difference, since I lived in America for 22 years and can't really tell you much about anything history related. One week in Cambodia and I'm a walking history book. But alas, I don't have time to write about it all. So do yourself a favor today and research the wonder that is Cambodia. You will not be disappointed.

I spent an extra day in PP because I got sick. This was interesting because I never got sick in Vietnam and I think I forgot that Iwas going to a different country and things might be a little different. Luckily it was only for the night, and I was with Sarah so I got to stay at her place, which was a MUCH better place to be sick at than my three-dollar-a-night-room-with-shared-bathroom guesthouse. So after lounging for a day, I took a $5 bus to Sihanoukville, which is what I am now calling heaven on earth. I'm paying $2 a night for a matress on a floor, right on the beach. It's amazing here. The white sand and light blue WARM water and hot, hot sun are exactly what I was looking for in a vacation. The sun is freakishly strong here and I'm a nice red/golden brown color. You can be jealous.

I spend my days lounging on the beach, swimming in the water, playing beach volleyball with a million Europeans, and generally having a great time. I spend my nights sitting on the beach and eating/drinking/chatting. I haven't even gone into town because I'm afraid this is all a mirage and if I leave the beach it will disappear. I met two Americans (finally) from NY.. one of them just graduted in May from Northeastern. SMALL WORLD huh. We can't think of anyone we know, except a professor, but how strange? Things never cease to amaze me.

I brought up the question of why aren't there more Americans out here on the backapckers road. There are europeans everywhere I turn. I can't put a finger on it, but I guess it's just the way we are raised? I've been to quite a few places all over America, some multiple times, but I imagine if you live in Europe it isn't out of the ordinary to travel to different countries. They are all in such close proximity I know everyone who studied abroad there took advantage of that. But if you think about it, a flight to London is approximately the same as a flight to Cali.. and I've been to Cali a handful of times, but never stepped foot in Europe. If someone can do research on this and get back to me I would greatly appreciate it.

Tomorrow I leave heaven on earth and go to Siem Reap, which will be amazing, and I'll explain all about it afterwards. As a whole, I have noticed that I am bias on Vietnam. I think of it as more then just a country I've been to, which I guess was the whole point in me living there in the first place. It is easy to see how Vietnam has moved on and pushed forward after the war, while it is taking Cambodia a bit longer get over the Khmer Rouge Regime.. but I can see development. But driving through the country I felt like I was in India (a feeling I do not know, since I have never been, but I kept thinking about it.) Much less developed then the parts of Vietnam that I've been to, a bit dirtier, overall not as "nice". But the sites are worth seeing, and this little unknown beach is worth moving here forever. Many travelers end up staying here for longer then expected, some start working at the bars, its not a bad idea. But alas, I have to meet Sarah in Bangkok and I'm looking forward to a travel companion, and more eautiful beaches. I also plan on doing more "beachy" things.. maybe a boat or snorkeling, as many things as I've never done before to cross of that list. I can't wait!

I'm getting even slower with the emails (sorry!) Its easy to get internet access.. but I just don't want to haha. Keep writing though, some of us have gotten into some good novels, and I love you for it. Stay warm. :)

The Travel Diaries.

I know it's only been four days, but I am seriously in love with Southeast Asia. Not only does it have some of most beautiful structures, pagodas, temples, and beaches (everything, really) it's history is amazing. Its amazing that I'm constantly learning.

Summery: First I took a bus to Chau Doc, which is on the border of Vietnam. I hired a motorbke (probably too much money, but he spoke English well and I liked him) and saw a few of the pagodas, and drove up Sam Mountain (really more of a hill) and watched the sunset over the mountains in the distance: to the left, Vietnam, to the right, Cambodia. It was beauitful. It poured rain on the way back to my hotel, so I ended up just relaxing there for the night and doing some reading / trip planning.

The next morning I took a speed boat to Phnom Penh, Cambodia! I've been here since. Through a friend of a friend I met up with some expats and celebrated Thanksgiving with them! The night before I went to their house and helped with the chopping/cutting while drinking wine and listening to Frank Sinatra. They have a really nice house, and it was great to talk to them. Then on Thanksgiving I went over early to help, and there ended up being about 20 people there. It was nice because I was not the only new face, everyone seemed to be a friend of a friend, which is part of what I love about the expat community in general. Thanksgiving dinner was delicious, everything homemade. I've never particularly been a fan of the holiday but it was so great! I piled food on my plate, mixed things together and everything tasted amazing. I had great conversations with everyone (almost!) about what they are doing here and how they like it, it's so great, everyone has a different story and a different experience. They also have the cutest puppy in the world, and I think it may have been one of my favorite Thanksgivings to date. We ended the night (a 1:30am decsion) going out dancing, which was a fun night cap.

Today I did/am doing all of the touristy things, and I have learned an incredible amount about the history of Cambodia. I have a LOT to write about this, and other side stories but my time here is up! I hope everyone had a good holiday. I have so much to tell you I wish I had the time but the Royal Palace and the Silver Pagoda is calling me...

Ps. I'm terrible at buying gifts/souveniers, even for myself. If you want something, you're going to have to be specific.

Pps. If you leave a comment on my blog, you might want to mention who you are, because there are a ton of Anonymus postings and well I just can't read minds.

Miss you, love you, but generally don't want to come home :)

I know I haven't written in a while, but I've been very busy! The semester is over, and I am officially a teacher! I have given midterms, finals, and final course grades. It has been a roller coaster of emotions and I am completely in love with this country, and specifically with Can Tho. I have so much to say but no idea where to start, and nothing I say will fully explain how I feel. I am overwhelmed with emotions!

I leave for vacation tomorrow morning! By Wednesday morning I will be in Phnom Penh, Cambodia where I will celebrate Thanksgiving with a group of Americans I know through a friend of a friend (oh to travel!) Then by the weekend I will be relaxing on the beautiful beaches of Sihanoukville. Other then that, I have very little plans, and I'm looking forward to it. 

I wish I had more time to talk, but my head is trying to figure out what to pack and trying to stay awake long enough to do so, so I can't write much, but keep writing even if I don't get back write away. You guys have all been the best supporters I could ever ask for, and I can't wait to share my upcoming vacation with you!! Have a great Thanksgiving, and I'll be in touch soon! 

"The joy of life comes from our encounters with new experiences, and hence there is no greater joy than to have an endlessly changing horizon, for each day to have a new and different sun." -Into the Wild

An interesting thought to sleep on... or wake up to, depending on how you look at it.

"Everybody is talking about crisis, the end of the world, the crash of the stock markets, etc... But in my generation, the hippie generation, we didn't have money as our ultimate goal, and I think that now we have adapted ourselves, or were forced to adapt ourselves to a new reality. 

Don't you think that this is a new beginning, a new beginning for us to see the world differently from what society has forced us to see?" - Paulo Coelho

Sorry I haven't been around lately. I'm swamped with finals and grading. Other then that I've been incredibly introspective and googling everything possible for next year. This experience has opened my mind up to a lot of different options I didn't know existed, and sometimes I'm overwhelmed by the amount of things I can do. Sometimes though, I just want things to be simple. Is it possible to want two incredibly different things? For now, I'm considering a change of pace here in Viet Nam. More on that later.

People from home have been surprising me, both for the good and the bad, so I'm trying to work all of that out in my head. Distance is an interesting thing. I miss Boston, and fall of last year. Which is also an interesting thing because it was one of the more emotional times in my life, but through it I made some of my best friends. I'm craving a social life, of any kind. I'm definitely not made to be in isolation. Even when I do something, its so different here. Anyway, the jury is still out on everything, and I don't have much to talk about but I wanted you all to know I was alive and kickin'. 

This morning one of my students woke me up (9am on a sunday morning!) She was at my door and wanted to make me breakfast. While I was staring at her and contemplating ways to say no she said "I already bought everything." So basically, I didn't have a choice. So I took a few minutes to change out of my pajamas and sucked it up. Then in the middle of eating she randomly gets up and says okay, time for me to go now! Not sure I'll ever get over the bluntness of some things. 

In one day I re-read The Secret Life of Bees. The first time I read that book I had a serious emotional connection to it,  and I brought it with me in case I needed to read it again. Apparently I did. Is it weird when a book is comforting? Apparently the movie is out at home / will be soon. Let me know your thoughts. The cast sounds great, but I'm not sure I want to see it. Some books can be ruined, and I don't want that to happen with this one. But anyway, read the book if you haven't. 

Everything else is going well, just the last week of the semester crunch and countdown 'til I leave for Cambodia (10 days!) I haven't fallen in love with skype as much as most people abroad have, but I have been catching up with some people via phone.. I think the video part is too weird. Anyway, if you want me to call you leave your number because I seem to have misplaced my phone charger. But I've loved talking to people, sometimes a phone conversation is so simple and exactly what I need. Everyone was out tonight for Mary's birthday in the city and they passed the phone around, and even though it was the same minute long conversation with everyone, it was really nice to hear everyones voice. I love you guys! I'll try to write again before I leave for vacation (and I'll try to write back to my emails too.. they seem to be piling up - sorry!) A quote I just found: 

"We beach kids have it easier, our oceans always listening, whispering back in waves that the world is big, horizons always inviting us to dream."

So many things happen on a day to day basis, I'm sure there is a lot I've yet to mention. Everything is going so well, I really love it here. Only two weeks left of the semester! It is nice because I don't really have any lesson planning left, but more grading, so I'm not sure which I'd prefer. Then I'm getting a visit from some of the people from Teachers for Vietnam, which I am really excited about. I really want to share this with someone, and even though I think they have been here before, I'm sure it is different then when they were last here, and I'm happy to be able to experience that with them. Then vacationnnn!!!! I cannot wait.

 

I put up a new album of pictures! There are a few pictures of my roommates, and a Thai meal they cooked for some of their friends one night that we had on our floor! Throughout the album are pictures of my three senior classes, as well as a few pictures I took on campus just because it was a particularly beautiful day. Then there are a few pictures around Can Tho. One of my students, Thao, took me on a mini tour one afternoon, and we actually went some places I had never been before, which I was amazed at because the city isn't very big. We went to this part that is being completely remodeled. Right now the only way to get into Can Tho is by ferry, but they are in process of building a bridge. It was suppose to be done by the end of the year, but there was an accident, and then the usual setbacks, so no one is really sure when it is going to be done (well no one I've talked to about it.) Thao took me to the end of the bridge where everyone will be able to drive into Can Tho. It is this beautiful countryside-like part of the city, I was able to grab a few pictures while on a motorbike (I've obtained almost-perfect balance.)  The thing that really got to me was the construction - everywhere. There are plans to build this huge resort type building. As soon as the bridge is built they are expecting an onslaught of tourists, and are preparing for it. I have no idea when everything will be done, I'm sure not before I leave, but it was kind of sad to see it all. One part of me is happy because it will be great for the economy, but another part of me knows that Can Tho will never be the same - it will never be the same city that I have fallen in love with. I guess I have to suck it up and be happy for them, but a very weird feeling came over me as I drove around and saw all the construction and pictures massive hotels packed with foreigners. As much as I sometimes crave more of a social life, I have to say that I like it better here without all of the hype. Even driving down to Ninh Kieu Key, the tourist part of Can Tho, is not that far, and is usually filled with foreigners, but I never go down there, and when I do I like to go during the day when it isn't packed. You can go restaurants serving western food, but it is overpriced and that good, and if I eat at local places, the food is amazing and I spend about 50 cents. Anyway, I suppose I can muster up enough happiness for them. 

The last few pictures were from friday night. We actually went out, which is uncommon for us. The true celebration was "My Birthday." Julia and I both have June birthdays, so we won't be able to celebrate them here. So we decided to pick new birthdays. Since we won't be here for our half birthdays either, I picked the month before and Julia's will be next semester. So, Friday was my birthday. It was really sort of underwhelming, I've never really had good luck when it comes to birthdays, but anyway it was fun to go out dancing. So the pictures are of my friends who came out for the "big day." 

I finished reading Catfish & Mandala, I highly recommend it to anyone who wants a little more info on Vietnam today (although I think the book was written in '99?) But still - more of the Vietnam you should know about. Also, you should read this. The author taught at the exact same post I am teaching at last year, with a different program. He lived in the house next to me (now occupied by Julia & Alice.) I don't know him, but  I came across this article, and thought you might enjoy it - I literally could have written it, except he seems to be a better writer.

Everything else is going really well. I had one of my classes over for dinner tonight, they are so great. I have some pictures that will be up eventually, but they made fresh spring rolls and fried spring rolls, and of course there was a lot of fruit. My roommates also joined us, which was a lot of fun. It was also nice because they were asking them all sorts of questions about Thailand, and I got a little break. After we ate everyone started singing songs. My roommates sang Thai songs and my students sang some english songs (that I didn't know, which was embarrassing) and Vietnamese songs. We were all sitting in a circle singing songs and I was thinking this is just such a great experience, and I will miss this so much. Isn't that crazy? Thinking about things I'll miss already? I think thats a good sign though, things are just really great and I'm realizing how different everything is and some things I just won't want to leave, my students are definitely number one. Okay, I'll REALLY miss the food, but I don't think its fair to put that first. Anyway, the best part of the singalong was when a crab walked into my house. Thats right, a LARGE crab, just walked through the front door. I was like ummm that's never happened before and I'm not really sure what to do! Luckily I had one male student and he picked it right up and took it outside. Like nothing weird happened. Oh, Vietnam.

Fun fact: If you google my name, you can find a lot of other Samantha Thornleys, none particularly interesting. What you can find is stats from a cross country race I ran in high school, an NEU article with a picture of me with the MEISA crew & John Esposito, and my blog. Is that all suppose to help me get a job? At least nothing embarrassing is floating around out there, although my time in that race was terrible. I'm sure there are a million other things I want to say but I'm exhausted, so I hope everyone is doing well and if I haven't heard from you in a while, you should probably e-mail me. xoxo.

Sometimes I have so much to say I don't know where to get started, and I don't even want to try. Now is one of those times.

Case and point: I started this blog yesterday and Im still fixing it. I apologize if my thoughts are all over the board. 

Everything is really amazing. I've finally (for the first time in my life, perhaps) stopped over analyzing everything. Things will happen in time, and somehow something great will happen, and it will be what it is suppose to be. It's as simple and as complicated as that. 

I love getting unexpected e-mails. 

I just bought a one way ticket from Bangkok to HCMC, which means I'll be celebrating NYE in Bangkok, and I have about five weeks before that to get to Bangkok. my route will be Cambodia - Laos- Thailand. Nothing is official yet, except my flight home, but at least its motivation to get going on my planning. Only three more weeks of classes left! 

I've become obsessed with Top40 music. I've recently downloaded Britney Spears. I never gave her enough of a chance. I'm learning how to love music again, and I'm very happy about this. If you have anything worth listening to, send it my way. 

One of my students gave a presentation on Paris Hilton. Her closing statement was "Even though she was in prison, she can do a lot of things that we can't." I guess you can't argue with that. 

Vietnam. Whereee to begin. I feel like I have been talking about myself so much I haven't given anyone a very good portrayal of the place I'm growing to know and love. Up until now my time here has been a huge personal growth experience, so it was good to get all of that out. That is a big part of why I did this in the first place. But I'm moving forward, and I really want everyone to know and understand my day to day life . So I'll try to explain everything as best I can from now on.

I've settled into a pretty routine schedule. The morning is coffee/reading time. The day is filled with classes / grading / lesson planning (almost done!) / coffee & food. Depending on the weather I go for a run. It has cooled off a LOT since I first got here. It's been pretty rainy the past week, but I'll take it if it brings the cool weather. It should be this nice until March, where I might die from the heat. Anyway, then at night it's dinner and watching Friends with Julia and Alice. We've made this an every night occurrence (not sure what we will do when we finish the series..) It is something we all look forward to, and it is really out only time to just relax together. It is definitely the all american TV show, although the views of NYC make me miss it a lot. I finish the night off with a walk. Sometimes I do it after dinner, depends on the weather and if someone wants to come with me. I love walking at night - its a great time to just relax and think about things, or have a great conversation, or just listen to music. It is great when my iPod creates a great shuffle playlist - sometimes it just knows what you need to listen to. Other times I want to throw it away. I miss walking in Boston at night, although not in the cold, so I'm happy to be able to do it all year here. I missed the first snowfall!? Before halloween? Really? What happened to global warming?

It is amazing the things I am use to. As I sit here at the coffee shop, there is a little kid standing next to me, holding on to my chair, breathing down my back and staring at my computer. Five minutes ago he was crying hysterically trying to get my attention. Before that, an older woman was at my side. They are trying to sell me something, usually lottery tickets. I usually just don't look at them and they go away eventually. But I'm not even bothered by it anymore. Also, traffic. I saw a car driving on the road today and I thought 'hm, that's weird.' That's when I realized I've come full circle to accepting life here as "normal." I can't even imagine what reverse culture shock is going to do to me. 

My favorite thing to do is take a food tour. I invented & named this myself, but it truly is amazing. I walk (or bike) and just stop places and buy something to eat. Every couple of feet there is a stand where people sell some sort of snack food. My favorite snack is bananas grilled in sticky rice. My second favorite is this coconut patty thing. Another favorite is fried dough. It is a few blocks from where we live, and only there at night, but sometimes we walk all the way there and buy fried dough or sweet bread -if one of us have a bad day, there is without fail a trip to the fried dough lady. Another favorite meal is a breakfast sandwich - Banh Mi Oopla.It is a bread roll with egg, cucumber & tomato, soy sauce, some weird looking spread, and something else weird on top. It is delicious. The funniest thing is not knowing what you are eating. At home I would NEVER do that, wouldn't even consider it because I don't like a lot of things. It isn't really an option here. It has become fun though, and whatever on that sandwich is delicious! Another great snack is sticky rice - its just sticky rice rolled into a ball and there is a salt/sugar concoction thrown on top and it is wrapped up in some sort of paper and you can buy it randomly on the side of the road. The best thing about a food tour is you never know what you are going to get. Every street is different, and there are different people selling different types of food depending on the time of day. I have a few favorites (I call them the banana lady and the banh mi lady) who know me and know what I like and get it right every time. The fried dough lady always laughs at us when we get there because we get way more then a Vietnamese person would. I bet you thought I was kidding when I said my days revolve around food...

For the most part, I've stopped thinking about next year. Well, I've stopped obsessing and making myself crazy about it. It still comes up with other people and everyone else is thinking about it, but I think I've turned that part of my brain off. I just don't want to deal with it right now. I'm still open to ideas, I'm certainly not ruling out anything just yet. But I'm getting a really good since of what I want / don't want in my life and I'm basing it on me, not on other people. This is the first time in my life I'm not "with" someone. Isn't that crazy. Even in the in-between time, I always seem to have someone. Its completely liberating and terrifying at the same time. But again, a big part of why I cam here. 

I do miss socializing. I miss having a lot of people around, calling / texting / just generally being able to hang out with different people. I'm sick of facebook being the only way to get in touch with someone and I'm actually forgetting how to act in normal situations - which was apparent last night when we went to a party. It was the first in a while an we met more foreigners (yes, more Germans) and we realized that besides the three of us, we really don't get out much. There isn't anything to do and we are literally forgetting how to talk to people other than our students. I wish I was exaggerating, but I'm not. But I'm not homesick anymore and this doesn't upset me for the most part. I've reached a very comfortable point. I was reminded yesterday of how comfortable I am when someone was talking about all of the interesting and exciting things here. Since things have become so normal, I forget that - wow I'm actually in Vietnam, and there are crazy things going on all around me that I will never see again in the rest of my life, and some of them are really ridiculous. I want to keep remembering to soak it all up and not forget how crazy it is that I am actually here. 

Reading Catfish & Mandala by Andrew X. Pham- I highly recommend it. I'm not done with it yet, but it is about a Viet - Kieu who takes a bike trip through Vietnam. It is a very accurate portrayal of this amazing country, especially its progress and the things that are really frustrating. I'm obviously not dealing with the same things he is, but to a certain extent I can relate to some of the things he talks about. Everything he says is very real, so if you're interested, his portrayal of Vietnam is much better than anything I could ever write. There are some great lines in the book. One is, "Vietnam is a country of food, a country of skinny people obsessed with eating." That's exactly how I feel. At least in the Mekong Delta it is. Another, "How can people refuse to help when they are living in a country where a teenager can earn more money in a day than a Vietnamese teacher earns in a month?" Another really interesting line is "I am in awe of the Vietnamese. I admire them. I respect them, but what I really want is to like them, to find them likable." I suppose you have to read the story to fully understand, but his view on everything is just very real, and very true. The people he meets on his journey put things into perspective for him. Again, I'm not good at explaining all of this. Read the book and then maybe we can talk about it.

One reoccurring frustration is the idea that all foreigners are rich. It is frustrating to argue this with people because a dollar goes so far here. Especially bargaining - I always feel bad because I don't want to be taken advantage of just because I am white - but in retrospect was that 25 cents really worth anything to me? It means a whole lot more to them and I understand that so it makes me feel guilty. But in American standards I pretty much have nothing, plus I'm way in debt after college loans. People always ask me where I have been in Asia and when I start to talk of my travel plans, sometimes I hear myself from their perspective and I just have to stop talking. It is so cheap for me to travel here I plan on taking advantage to see as much as possible... but people who have lived in Can Tho their whole lives don't have the same opportunity. Most of my students have not even been to Hanoi - something I've already done. Let alone another country  - and I plan on going to four. So they charge me more because they "know" I have it. And who am I to argue, really. But sometimes it gets so frustrating. I was looking at flights online and my roommate was helping me with the conversion rates and one flight was a lot more then I expected and I was like oh wow too much - and she said "Why aren't you rich?" Maybe she caught me on a bad day, but I looked her straight in the eye and said "No- not all Americans are rich." And walked away. So much for me trying to open up her mind, and I'm sure I will get another chance, but sometimes I just can't take the assumption.

My students: they always cover their mouths when they giggle. It is more of an "I'm shy" thing, but it's really funny. It's even funnier when the guys do it. Girls hold hands all of the time. I've seen people holding hands while riding bikes- I don't understand it but it's really cute. And guys.. they don't hold hands, but they put an arm over the shoulder and walk down the street that way. I've already mentioned that they just have this innocent to them - its so different. In a way we are growing more immature, but in a good way. It is nice to not be so serious all the time. I look at them - most of my students just a year younger then me -  and realize it is ridiculous to take things so seriously, I've lightened up quite a bit.

Things I have a newfound appreciation for: soy sauce, peanut butter, eggs, and Raid. You can put the first two on anything, and it only makes it more delicious. Eggs are also more delicious then I remember them being, and you can also put them with everything. My roommates cook friend rice three times a day, and it is an amazing thing. It's always different, and you can put all sorts of veggies in it. And well raid is just great, it kills any kind of animal within a minute- although cockroaches struggle for a while. It was truly a fantastic invention. 

Something I will NEVER like / get use to / want, etc - chili pepper. Anything spicy. I think I've come a long way from what I would eat as a child - only hot dogs and mac & cheese (i would KILL for some mac and cheese right now) but spicy food is something my taste bud refuse to accept. Hoping I won't starve in Thailand.. 

Still making up for classes I missed when I was sick. Make up classes are always on Sunday and they really put a damper on the weekend. Also having trouble picking up internet and really hoping I don't have to start paying for it. They were talking about paying bills on Friends (it really is a huge part of my life) and I realized how much I don't miss paying bills. I have a really great set up here. 

Sorry for the randomness of this - it would be easier to write shorter entries more often but sometimes I work better this way. Still waiting for a package my parents sent about five weeks ago, so if you plan on sending something, account for the delay. Missing everyone!! xoxo.

oh my.

I just put a sweater on.

This made me check weather.com, where I saw that the temperature is 78 degrees, feels like 84. 

I'd probably die in Boston right now.

Coming to terms.

New picture self explanatory. 

I have two new roommates from Thailand. Not sure if I mentioned that yet. Their English is enough for us to communicate, and although I feel like I'm living with my students, it's nice to have people around. I still spend a majority of my time next door watching friends and eating and doing work there, but it's nice to not come home to an empty house. They are the sweetest girls, too. They keep feeding me and cleaning up after me, which is slightly annoying but also the nicest thing. They are here until February, and I won't be here in December, but at least we'll have a little time to get to know each other, and hopefully they'll give me some tips for traveling around Thailand.

I'm trying to write an essay for Teachers for Vietnam about my experience so far and it is the hardest paper to write. I have so much to say and at the same time, there is nothing I can say that will really explain how I've felt. Luckily I'm just sitting around all weekend with a bum foot so I have a lot of time to finish it up. The foot is doing better, i don't think my toe is broken anymore because the swelling has gone down quite a bit. My ankle hurts the most now, so I think it was just all swollen and bruised. I've been staying off of it and I cancelled all my plans for today (football, volleyball, and a get together with my students) Actually, my students cancelled it all for me because they said it would be better for my health to rest. They are very concerned about what is good for your health. If there is a match in the afternoon they often tell me I should stay home because they are afraid it will be too hot and I will get ill. If I sneeze, they immediately ask me if I'm sick, and if I say no they say that it is probably just because of the weather changing constantly. I've never been taken such good care of. I've also never been respected as much. I realize this more and more every day, this is something I will miss when I leave. Not so much the being pampered, but just being respected and valued at a completely different level. 

I have finally come to terms with being here. Is three months long enough to be over culture shock? I've realized, and confirmed it after talking to numerous friends who are now or have been abroad, that you can't completely settle until you've felt that homesickness. Getting over it has made me confident that I I will be able to get through anything. Not that it won't be hard again, I know that it will, but now I know that I can get through it. Thank god for the support system I have (I literally hit the bottom and didn't want anything else but to go home, and Whitney and Michelle told me I wasn't welcome and they didn't want to see me. In a weird way, that was the best advice I've received :) I'm still not sure if the internet is a blessing or a curse, but it is definitely nice to keep in touch with what everyone is doing. I hope you get a chance to check up some blogs I've posted the links to - I am lucky to know some really amazing people who are out doing incredible things with their lives. But anyway, this is where I live for now and this is my life - some days suck, but some days are incredibly rewarding, and those days more then make up for the bad ones. And it's suppose to be hard- otherwise it wouldn't be worth it. 

Some things you all probably know about but I'm just catching wind of-

-Phish is playing a reunion tour this summer? Can someone clarify this and buy us tickets? 

-Backstreet Boys are back in the recording studio? Doesn't anyone learn?

-Whitney from the Hills is going to have a spin of show about being single in Manhattan called The City? Am I crazy, or does something like this already exist? They couldn't even come up with a clever title!

-Tim Burton is making Alice in Wonderland. I can't decide if I'm really excited about this, or if it will be too terrifying for me...

-Sarah Palin rapped on Saturday Night Live? I'm currently trying to download the video.

I currently can't stop listening to Blinded by Third Eye Blind. 

"Time passes and it tells us what we're left with. We become the things we do."

Today you are a Vietnamese woman.

Yesterday was Woman's Day. I compared it as a mix of Mother's Day and Valentines Day. In class, on of my male students presented me with flowers, which was really cute and nice, and invited me to a "party" that night. I ended up inviting Alice because it was a lot of her students too, and it was really funny and just great. They put balloons up all over the room and basically put on a show. There was karaoke, dancing, skits, and games. Most of it was in English but for the parts that wasn't one of my students explained the games to me. It was a really nice few hours. My student told me on the way there that today, I was a Vietnamese woman, and I thought that was really nice. The nice thing that was the guys gave flowers to all of the girls. It was so cute. As i was sitting there I (inappropriately) said to Alice, wow college in Vietnam is so different than college in America.  Yes, that is slightly obvious in many ways, but sometimes I can't grasp the fact that these are college freshman putting on this "party." And giving all of the girls flowers and telling them they appreciated them. It was just a very different experience. Can you imagine that happening in America? It was like a version of Valentine's Day but the boys were excited about it and everyone was happy.

.

Dance performance.

 

Being presented flowers. All of the guys (there are only seven in this class) left the room, turned off the lights, lit candles, and came back in with roses for every girl in the room. So sweet!

I'm continuously amazed at how nice my students are. They are genuinely really sweet people. I'm also getting use to being waited on. Everywhere I go, my students always do things for me. Pull out the chair, order me a second drink, pour it for me, refill my plate, etc. This must be what being a princess is like...

As for my accident.. things are generally okay. I am actually in a lot more pain now then I was/have been. (I'm seriously questioning my English skills these days. ) My knee kills and my toe hurts even more.. I'm thinking in might be broken. But I really don't think that there is much I can do and I hope this doesn't impair my badminton/football/volleyball playing because I have a very busy week lined up. They guy that took care of the situation made the boys who hit me pay 2/3rds of the cost to get my bike fixed, so I was pretty happy about that. He was so nice! I want to buy him some sort of gift.. maybe bean cake, we'll see. Anyway, so lucky the whole thing worked out, but just in pain now. And also pretty shaken up in general, very nervous out on the road, but taking it easy. Overall, I'm still alive!

I would like to formally thank Sarah for not only all of her letters of encouragement (they really do help, and they always seem to come at the perfect time..) But for saying that yes, things do come in threes. But I had the flu and was incredibly homesick, & I forgot to mention that as number one. So now, I'm ready for all good things to come my way...

It is pouring rain and even though I am in my living room I am getting wet. This makes me laugh. But for the sake of my computer, I must be off! Until next time.. think good thoughts about my toe :/

Food Appreciation 101.

It has been a pretty great week, post homesickness. I had a lot of meetings with students.. a lot of coffee, food, and chit chat. I have found my favorite thing to do. Riding on a motorbike at night. The weather is cool, and since I'm not driving it's so relaxing. Just driving around the city is my favorite thing to do and it always clears my mind. I love it!

Today we won our soccer game! I didn't do anything spectacular, but I definitely played better than I did last time, and I almost scored a goal! I know almost doesn't count in this situation, but I was pretty excited about it. All of my students noticed my improvement, although now they expect me to be even better next week, which is a of of pressure! Either way, it was a lot of fun, and followed by my team going out for sugar cane juice (delicious) and lunch (some sort of chicken/rice/catfish/veggies meal.. also delicious). This all happened during game six, so I'm sad to say I missed it, but it does not matter because we've forced a game seven! And I don't have anything to do tomorrow morning! FANTASTIC. 

Friday night Julia, Alice, Ben and I spent the night in and invited over two Belgians we met the night before. It was overall a really good time. Fun, relaxing night, dance party included. Towards the end of the night I got into a pretty heated discussion with one of them Belgians about Vietnam. I found myself defending the country as if it were my home. I had been having small problem with people I have met who are "set in their ways." Not to say that I'm not stubborn, but I am absolutely open to others thoughts and opinions. Nothing frustrates me more then someone who just willing to consider that maybe their might be another way to look at things. This guy brought all my frustration back when he started knocking on Vietnam and how poor they are, and how sad things are, and a lot of other things I've chosen to forget. I just kept saying how Vietnam was growing and how it wasn't the same Vietnam as it was two years ago and it's not going to be the same in two years and that the people here are unbelievable and so friendly and learning English, and how much they love and are grateful to spend time with foreigners. It was like he wasn't even listening and just continuing with his thoughts. I don't really understand how someone like that can embark on a trip to Vietnam, of all places, if he isn't willing to open his mind up to the possibilities of this country, especially this city. Frustration. Luckily the night proved to be a success as I just walked away and did not spark conversation with him for the rest of the evening. 

Then yesterday Julia, Alice, and I spent the entire day at one of my students houses. Her name is Thao, (English name, Michelle) and it was a really great day. The three of us were in a pretty silly mood, but we basically sat around and helped prepare food, and were fed all day. Her mother was so nice and helping to teach us how to cook. I am gaining such an appreciation for food that I never had before. Being a ballerina and everything that comes with it never really made me like food very much, and I definitely always took food for granted, mostly because I really didn't like it but you just have to eat you know? And i love junk food more then anything. Plus it was always so much easier to go buy something terrible for you than to get food and spend the time preparing it. In college I started to cook a little bit, at least a few staple meals that I perfected over the last two years. But here.. it's so different. The markets with fresh EVERYTHING is definitely the most exciting thing. I loved going to Haymarket on Saturday mornings in Boston, but this is so much better, and it's all day, every day, everywhere. You can literally find anything you need at a very reasonable price. Spending the day preparing food and then having a feast was so great. It is so nice to eat the food after putting so much work into it. And to see that everyone else enjoys it too. We have been spending a lot more time cooking and I can't wait to perfect some recipes and cook actual good food for myself and not have to eat out all the time when I go home (wherever that may be..) So to summarize: all I do is eat, and while everyone was worried I would come back too skinny, well I think we'll have the opposite problem. But I don't even care! Well not today at least..

So we all know that positives some with negatives right? Well...

1- Friday I locked myself out of my house. Because I had a lot of things to do I didn't get home and realize it until around dinner time, by which time the cleaning lady had gone home. I found someone to translate Vietnamese for me and we walked around trying to find a spare key to my house and I was told she wouldn't be back until Monday. I was so tired that I didn't even fight it and I slept next door. So when I got back from Thao's house on Saturday it was after five and I was so worried that everyone had gone home again. After walking around and trying to speak Vietnamese (and finally, calling An and giving someone my phone) I got into my house, finally.

2- As a prerequisite to this story - I AM FINE. Mom, Dad, everything is perfectly fine. However, while riding my bike home from class today, I got hit by a kid riding a motorbike. A few things to mention - A) he was literally a kid, couldn't have been more then ten years old, and I know there aren't a ton of laws around here, but I am pretty sure that's illegal. B) It was both of our faults. I was starting to turn left and he wasn't looking, so we kept going and hit my front tire and I sort of flew off of the bike. It all happened pretty fast. I'm sure I should have looked before I started to go, and I'm sure he should have been looking in front of him and also not driving his motorbike in the bike lane, but I also don't know how much of a "law" that is. Luckily there were about ten guys watching me who helped me get up and shake it off. One of them drove me to a doctor and I got cleaned up. I really only fell on my left leg and my knee and ankle are a little cut up, but I'm superrrrr lucky that that was all that happened. Oh and my bike was smashed up pretty good, but they said they would fix it for me. (I again had to call An and hand over my phone) C) You could say that I "got it out of the way." I sort of figured it was inevitable that something would happen sometime. So it happened. And nothing bad happened besides a few scrapes and bruises. I lived. So besides having to pay to get my bike fixed, there was nothing else terrible about this situation. 

What i am worried about is... do things happen in three's even if you're in Asia? 

Balance.

New picture in Sapa during sunset..

I've officially made it through my first terrible bout of homesickness. I knew that I would get a little homesick while being sick, but this was truly a terrible experience. I literally wanted to go home. Luckily everyone took good care of me, and although the homesickness lasted longer then being sick, i finally made it over that hurdle. Not an easy feat. I'm thankful for having the internet to keep in touch with people, but I can't decide if it's a blessing or a curse. It's nice to reminisce but now I'm onto the next chapter and living in the past will get me anywhere. Trying to find a balance between keeping in touch and living vicariously through Michelle. 

I've done a fairly good job of catching up with all of my classes, even though being sick put me a lot further back then just vacation. I've really enjoyed spending more time with my students outside of the classroom. Last week I played football (soccer). It is sort of like intramurals from what I can tell. I realized that soccer is the only sport I've never actually played. And although I didn't suck, I did not really contribute to the team. But we did win, and I was invited to play again this week. It was a lot fun. A student I didn't know kept shouting "pass it to Samantha, pass it to Samantha!" and sometimes it wasn't even our ball. Other times he was shouting "make a goal Samantha, make a goal!" when I didn't even have the ball! I'd have to say the best moment was when the ball came flying at my head and I ducked, and everyone giggled. One of my students said (and in the nicest way possible) "You know, you should hit the ball with your head when that happens." To which I replied, "I'm scared!" Which was then followed by more giggles. Whether I was good or bad, I know they enjoyed laughing at me, which is all I can ask for. I did have a great time though, and it looks like I'll be playing again this Sunday. I've also gotten together multiple times to play badminton with my students. Sometimes we'll just play in front of my house for fun. But on Thursday my students took me to an actual court and it turns out I'm not too bad. I had a throwback of Mrs. Gross (WHS anyone?) and silently thanked her for being a terrifying teacher. Anyway, I had a lot of fun. Besides playing in what felt like a sauna, I had a great time and might be doing that once a week also. Later in the night the "professionals" came to practice and I was literally scared. They were all older men and they were good. I've never seen badminton played so seriously before. I said to one of my students "I think I'm going to start practicing, I could be that good." and she responded with (very bluntly) "Maybe in three years." So maybe I won't be the best badminton or football player, but at least I'm doing something active, it definitely makes me feel better to get out and do something. Other daily activities include coffee or food with students (or An.) That pretty much sums up my life here. Coffee, food, and now sports. Oh and teaching. Lets not forget that I'm a teacher! I was talking to Alice today about how we sometimes find ourselves giving tests, or grading, or giving instructions and we think "Wow listen to me, I'm actually a teacher." I've definitely had a lot of those moments recently. But the semester is over in four weeks! I can't believe how quickly everything is happening. Time flies when you're having fun huh? Or when you are on you're death bed for a week. I feel like I was gone forever, and all of the sudden the semester is over. Somehow I'm keeping up with everything though, so there's generally nothing to complain about. 

I think I have taken a hiatus from teaching at the private school. At first it was great because I was making really good money, but then I was teaching 14 classes a week and starting to have nervous breakdowns. Then I got sick, then went on vacation, then got really sick. When I got back to teaching again I realized that it really stresses me out teaching there. I told them that I am making CTU and my students my priority and teaching four extra classes a week is not a good idea for me. I'm here to volunteer, and while I know that being a foreigner looks good for their school, I felt like I was only doing it for the money, and thats not what I want to do. Someone once told me never to work for money. It was more longwinded and in depth then I can explain, but it meant a lot to me. I don't want to live from paycheck to paycheck you know? And I know I'm in a special situation, but I don't want to get in that mindset. Maybe next semester I'll be able to look at it in a different light and can teach a few classes there again. But I need to find a balance between making people happy and making myself happy. I feel guilty, but I feel like I was tricked into teaching four/five extra classes a week and only said yes because I felt like I had to. No more of that.

I've also decided to not worry about being a "foreigner." There are a lot of things I do, wear, say, etc., on a daily basis that are not natural, but it is what is expected. Then I realized, I get stared at ALL the time, and no matter what I do or how long I live here, I will still be one of the only white people and still be stared at. So what's the harm of doing something that makes me happy or comfortable. They are going to stare anyway. The other day my student picked me up for class and I was wearing a skirt (covering my knees, of course, I don't mean doing something disrespectful.) And I hopped on the back of her motorbike, as usual. When we started to drive she said (very politely) "You know, when most women wear skirts the sit with their legs on the side of the bike." (IE - they do not straddle the bike) I have seen this, but it looks scary to sit like that, and my response was "Oh well, I thought it would be okay because my skirt is long and it's still covering my knees, right?" And she said "Yeah, it's fine because you're a foreigner." Point and case. 

So besides the sick/homesickness fall back I'm generally still doing really well. I get up at 7am to watch the red sox win, and to tell the truth, I snuck out of class a little early to see game 5, and I don't feel bad about it at all. I caught the last two innings, which was apparently all I needed to see. So keep your fingers crossed!! (I can't do that here, it means something different, and not nice.)

I'm looking forward to a day off tomorrow, hopefully I will keep myself busy because otherwise my head goes straight to Boston and all of the other places I could be. I don't really have anything good to leave you with, which is strange. But I do have an e-mail from one of my students at the private school. I wanted to share it with you all so you have a better idea of what I deal with/ how the students are. I taught this girl for the first time this week, and I'm having coffee with her tomorrow.

Hello Samantha. You teach my class. Do you remember? I impress you very much. You are beautyful and smile very nice. Hiii. I like to look your smile. That's the truth. Do you have free in Saturday night in this weekend? I want to invite you go to coffee shop with me and my friend. Are you okay? If you okay, we will pick you up. I hope you okay. Bye. See you on Saturday night. Goodnight Sam.

So sweet, I really do love them .

Hmm..

I've also just decided to add a picture to the top. I'll change in randomly depending on how I feel. This picture is from the OG Crew Ball this summer. All of the best. <3

Inside my head..

Sorry I haven't written in a while! When I got back from vacation I got very sick. I never went to the doctor (I know, I'm sorry!) I think I had the flu.. but everything is better now. The three others here took verryy good care of me, and although I couldn't leave my house for five days, everything is slowly getting back to normal. I haven't done much but I'm just taking it easy. The heat really wears me out in the middle of the day, I just really can't do anything. I don't know why I have such a hard time but I definitely have to figure out how to stay more hydrated. It is also amazing how homesick you can get while sick. Very, very homesick. I kept talking to some friends, and that helped, but I just really want the comfort of people you know? It's definitely just not even close to the same here. Anyways, everything is good now!

Good news: on one of the days I was really sick I turned on my TV for the first time (its been broken until now) and ESPN Live was playing the red sox game! Watching them win made me feel better, if that makes any sense. So now I can watch the whole ACLS Series! And (hopefully!!) the world series!!! It starts pretty early in the morning, but sometimes you have to make sacrifices for things that matter! 

My vacation was amazing. I don't even really know where to start because I came down from my vacation high pretty quickly after I got home, getting sick immediately. But it was such a great trip. An & I went to Hanoi for an orientation for TfV. It was really nice to spend time with the other TfV girls. There are just some people you can just connect with and not because you have to. I miss that feeling being here. Anyway, we had a lot of fun and Hanoi was beautiful. I am definitely a city girl. It was amazing how Westernized the city was. Coffee shops and restaurants, huge tourist destination. It was nice to meet other tourists though. So many people just taking off time, and just traveling everywhere. Amazing. I had some really great conversations about a lot of different things, it was just a nice change of pace. In Hanoi we went to see the Water Puppet Show which is very popular in Vietnam, but it originated in the North so I'm glad we saw it in Hanoi. It was pretty cool, but I enjoyed listening to the music. It was the first live performance I've heard and it was really amazing! I love the different instruments and the way the music fits together in a way that would never be accepted in Western culture. It was really beautiful and tells the story. Sort of like how music use to be. 

Then we took the overnight train to Sapa. We figured that since we were already in the North we should see something else, and I could afford to take a few days off so we did! I've already put up all of my pictures so I'm sure you've seen how beautiful it is (links on the left!) But I just can't really explain that feeling... literally at some points the view took my breath away. On the first day An & I rented a motorbike and drove up the mountain my ourselves to a waterfall. The waterfall was less than exciting, but the ride was amazing. First of all it was terrifying, riding a motorbike on the side of a mountain. I literally said "An, I trust you with my life right now." and she said "Well, you don't have any other choice!" Which was totally true haha. But it was just one beautiful spot after another all the way up the mountain. Then we drove back and walked down Cat Cat Village. Basically all of the surrounding villages are inhabited by different ethnic minorities, the biggest one being the H'Mong. It was really nice we walked all the way down the mountain, and we were by ourselves, and we went through the village and saw some of the children and their houses and where they all lived and worked and then we found this scary bridge & beautiful waterfall. It was really nice because for some reason we were the only two people there. THe walk back up through the village was VERY uphill, so we took a motorbike back the rest of the way, which I do not regret at all. The next day we went on a guided tour because I wanted to hear about the H'Mong and other minorities that lived in the villages. The children are beautiful, and some of the stories were really interesting. Anyway on that tour we went through three or four other villages, the whole time trekking through (up & down) the mountain, through streams, a bamboo forrest, waterfalls, and more scary bridges. It was amazing. I've never hiked a mountain like that before. (In flip-flops nonetheless!!) After we were done (it was about a 5 hour trek) An was having a hard time, and yeah I was exhausted but I was like wow I could go running right now! I couldn't have, obviously, and I didn't try.. but what an exhilarating feeling! An adrenaline rush, at the very least. I felt like I could do anything. To get home we took motorbikes back to the other side of the mountain. This was terrifying. The guy that was driving me was going way to fast and not slowing down for the turns. But I was in another world and I was so happy and grateful to be there at that moment I didn't even care. The moment I realized I officially was "rolling with the punches" My crazy motorbike driver drove really fast through a huge puddle and my legs and feet got soaked. The first thing that went through my mind was "Well, I needed to wash my feet anyway!" 

Besides climbing a mountain, other important things I did were: eating duck & pigeon and liking them both. Throwing my camera half way down a mountain and screaming as I watched my life disappear and my heart stop beating. My trusty little Vietnamese tour guide hopped right down the mountain and found that it had stopped just where he could reach it. I was SO thankful. Did I say my camera? I meant Rob's camera. I have to worst luck! I think I'm going to sew it to me when I go backpacking. Anyway.. Learning how to ignore cute cute children begging you to buy something from them. Sometimes giving in and buying something from them. Taking the overnight bus home in the "hard seats" section to save some money. I don't completely regret this decision, as it wasn't mine and I didn't have a choice, but it was a great experience. It was like those trains you see with a lot of guys drinking and playing cards and being really loud while the two foreigners try to sleep. (ok An isn't technically a foreigner, but that's another story). Overall it was really a great experience. We then went back to Hanoi and spent time with some different people An knew and some people we met at an Irish Bar, and then went out dancing with. It was just a nice time overall, not something I was ready to come home after. Hope you enjoy the pictures!!

The one thing I hate about going away is that it gave me the travel bug. I need to see more, I need to keep having exciting experiences. Hopefully I adjust myself to this heat before I am stuck in my house forever. It has also been making me think A LOT about next year and I am driving myself crazy. I think that is what started my headache that started the rest of the downfall that was my health. I made a vow with myself to not think about the future for the next few months. Just for once to be here, now. I'm always thinking of the next step, sometimes satisfied, but still always once step ahead. A good quote from Whitney:

"I need reminders of why I think anything is possible, and why I think convenient and okay just isn't enough." 

I heard a song the other day that had a really good line. You know how everyone always uses the phrase "When in Rome!" Well I was definitely saying it a lot on vacation, and I say it here in Can Tho sometimes also. And I was just reading my friends blog who is studying abroad in Barcelona and she said "When in Barca!" and then I heard this song and it made me think:

"But I'm gonna bet they never really feel at home, If they spend a lifetime learning how to live in Rome."

In interesting way to look at things, I think. Then last night Julia, Alice and I had a long conversation about where we wanted to live when we get back (and when that might be) and how scary that is. Such a crazy decision. Can't say I see myself staying in the next place very long, but ever since all of this has been going through my head I can't imagine not just picking a place to stay. What's so wrong with wanting to stay somewhere? I convinced myself once that it wasn't, and now I can't remember why. 

I don't mean to be so deep but this is what I can't stop thinking about and this is what drives me crazy sometimes. Always has, nothing new. I do miss my friends though. It's a hard time for a lot of people and it sucks not being there for them, thats probably the bottom line of what all of this is about. Anyway, it's about time for me to go to bed. Tomorrow morning I am playing football with my students! They invited me on their team and I have NO idea what to expect. It should be fun though! I'll let you know how it goes!! xoxo-