Sometimes I have so much to say I don't know where to get started, and I don't even want to try. Now is one of those times.

Case and point: I started this blog yesterday and Im still fixing it. I apologize if my thoughts are all over the board. 

Everything is really amazing. I've finally (for the first time in my life, perhaps) stopped over analyzing everything. Things will happen in time, and somehow something great will happen, and it will be what it is suppose to be. It's as simple and as complicated as that. 

I love getting unexpected e-mails. 

I just bought a one way ticket from Bangkok to HCMC, which means I'll be celebrating NYE in Bangkok, and I have about five weeks before that to get to Bangkok. my route will be Cambodia - Laos- Thailand. Nothing is official yet, except my flight home, but at least its motivation to get going on my planning. Only three more weeks of classes left! 

I've become obsessed with Top40 music. I've recently downloaded Britney Spears. I never gave her enough of a chance. I'm learning how to love music again, and I'm very happy about this. If you have anything worth listening to, send it my way. 

One of my students gave a presentation on Paris Hilton. Her closing statement was "Even though she was in prison, she can do a lot of things that we can't." I guess you can't argue with that. 

Vietnam. Whereee to begin. I feel like I have been talking about myself so much I haven't given anyone a very good portrayal of the place I'm growing to know and love. Up until now my time here has been a huge personal growth experience, so it was good to get all of that out. That is a big part of why I did this in the first place. But I'm moving forward, and I really want everyone to know and understand my day to day life . So I'll try to explain everything as best I can from now on.

I've settled into a pretty routine schedule. The morning is coffee/reading time. The day is filled with classes / grading / lesson planning (almost done!) / coffee & food. Depending on the weather I go for a run. It has cooled off a LOT since I first got here. It's been pretty rainy the past week, but I'll take it if it brings the cool weather. It should be this nice until March, where I might die from the heat. Anyway, then at night it's dinner and watching Friends with Julia and Alice. We've made this an every night occurrence (not sure what we will do when we finish the series..) It is something we all look forward to, and it is really out only time to just relax together. It is definitely the all american TV show, although the views of NYC make me miss it a lot. I finish the night off with a walk. Sometimes I do it after dinner, depends on the weather and if someone wants to come with me. I love walking at night - its a great time to just relax and think about things, or have a great conversation, or just listen to music. It is great when my iPod creates a great shuffle playlist - sometimes it just knows what you need to listen to. Other times I want to throw it away. I miss walking in Boston at night, although not in the cold, so I'm happy to be able to do it all year here. I missed the first snowfall!? Before halloween? Really? What happened to global warming?

It is amazing the things I am use to. As I sit here at the coffee shop, there is a little kid standing next to me, holding on to my chair, breathing down my back and staring at my computer. Five minutes ago he was crying hysterically trying to get my attention. Before that, an older woman was at my side. They are trying to sell me something, usually lottery tickets. I usually just don't look at them and they go away eventually. But I'm not even bothered by it anymore. Also, traffic. I saw a car driving on the road today and I thought 'hm, that's weird.' That's when I realized I've come full circle to accepting life here as "normal." I can't even imagine what reverse culture shock is going to do to me. 

My favorite thing to do is take a food tour. I invented & named this myself, but it truly is amazing. I walk (or bike) and just stop places and buy something to eat. Every couple of feet there is a stand where people sell some sort of snack food. My favorite snack is bananas grilled in sticky rice. My second favorite is this coconut patty thing. Another favorite is fried dough. It is a few blocks from where we live, and only there at night, but sometimes we walk all the way there and buy fried dough or sweet bread -if one of us have a bad day, there is without fail a trip to the fried dough lady. Another favorite meal is a breakfast sandwich - Banh Mi Oopla.It is a bread roll with egg, cucumber & tomato, soy sauce, some weird looking spread, and something else weird on top. It is delicious. The funniest thing is not knowing what you are eating. At home I would NEVER do that, wouldn't even consider it because I don't like a lot of things. It isn't really an option here. It has become fun though, and whatever on that sandwich is delicious! Another great snack is sticky rice - its just sticky rice rolled into a ball and there is a salt/sugar concoction thrown on top and it is wrapped up in some sort of paper and you can buy it randomly on the side of the road. The best thing about a food tour is you never know what you are going to get. Every street is different, and there are different people selling different types of food depending on the time of day. I have a few favorites (I call them the banana lady and the banh mi lady) who know me and know what I like and get it right every time. The fried dough lady always laughs at us when we get there because we get way more then a Vietnamese person would. I bet you thought I was kidding when I said my days revolve around food...

For the most part, I've stopped thinking about next year. Well, I've stopped obsessing and making myself crazy about it. It still comes up with other people and everyone else is thinking about it, but I think I've turned that part of my brain off. I just don't want to deal with it right now. I'm still open to ideas, I'm certainly not ruling out anything just yet. But I'm getting a really good since of what I want / don't want in my life and I'm basing it on me, not on other people. This is the first time in my life I'm not "with" someone. Isn't that crazy. Even in the in-between time, I always seem to have someone. Its completely liberating and terrifying at the same time. But again, a big part of why I cam here. 

I do miss socializing. I miss having a lot of people around, calling / texting / just generally being able to hang out with different people. I'm sick of facebook being the only way to get in touch with someone and I'm actually forgetting how to act in normal situations - which was apparent last night when we went to a party. It was the first in a while an we met more foreigners (yes, more Germans) and we realized that besides the three of us, we really don't get out much. There isn't anything to do and we are literally forgetting how to talk to people other than our students. I wish I was exaggerating, but I'm not. But I'm not homesick anymore and this doesn't upset me for the most part. I've reached a very comfortable point. I was reminded yesterday of how comfortable I am when someone was talking about all of the interesting and exciting things here. Since things have become so normal, I forget that - wow I'm actually in Vietnam, and there are crazy things going on all around me that I will never see again in the rest of my life, and some of them are really ridiculous. I want to keep remembering to soak it all up and not forget how crazy it is that I am actually here. 

Reading Catfish & Mandala by Andrew X. Pham- I highly recommend it. I'm not done with it yet, but it is about a Viet - Kieu who takes a bike trip through Vietnam. It is a very accurate portrayal of this amazing country, especially its progress and the things that are really frustrating. I'm obviously not dealing with the same things he is, but to a certain extent I can relate to some of the things he talks about. Everything he says is very real, so if you're interested, his portrayal of Vietnam is much better than anything I could ever write. There are some great lines in the book. One is, "Vietnam is a country of food, a country of skinny people obsessed with eating." That's exactly how I feel. At least in the Mekong Delta it is. Another, "How can people refuse to help when they are living in a country where a teenager can earn more money in a day than a Vietnamese teacher earns in a month?" Another really interesting line is "I am in awe of the Vietnamese. I admire them. I respect them, but what I really want is to like them, to find them likable." I suppose you have to read the story to fully understand, but his view on everything is just very real, and very true. The people he meets on his journey put things into perspective for him. Again, I'm not good at explaining all of this. Read the book and then maybe we can talk about it.

One reoccurring frustration is the idea that all foreigners are rich. It is frustrating to argue this with people because a dollar goes so far here. Especially bargaining - I always feel bad because I don't want to be taken advantage of just because I am white - but in retrospect was that 25 cents really worth anything to me? It means a whole lot more to them and I understand that so it makes me feel guilty. But in American standards I pretty much have nothing, plus I'm way in debt after college loans. People always ask me where I have been in Asia and when I start to talk of my travel plans, sometimes I hear myself from their perspective and I just have to stop talking. It is so cheap for me to travel here I plan on taking advantage to see as much as possible... but people who have lived in Can Tho their whole lives don't have the same opportunity. Most of my students have not even been to Hanoi - something I've already done. Let alone another country  - and I plan on going to four. So they charge me more because they "know" I have it. And who am I to argue, really. But sometimes it gets so frustrating. I was looking at flights online and my roommate was helping me with the conversion rates and one flight was a lot more then I expected and I was like oh wow too much - and she said "Why aren't you rich?" Maybe she caught me on a bad day, but I looked her straight in the eye and said "No- not all Americans are rich." And walked away. So much for me trying to open up her mind, and I'm sure I will get another chance, but sometimes I just can't take the assumption.

My students: they always cover their mouths when they giggle. It is more of an "I'm shy" thing, but it's really funny. It's even funnier when the guys do it. Girls hold hands all of the time. I've seen people holding hands while riding bikes- I don't understand it but it's really cute. And guys.. they don't hold hands, but they put an arm over the shoulder and walk down the street that way. I've already mentioned that they just have this innocent to them - its so different. In a way we are growing more immature, but in a good way. It is nice to not be so serious all the time. I look at them - most of my students just a year younger then me -  and realize it is ridiculous to take things so seriously, I've lightened up quite a bit.

Things I have a newfound appreciation for: soy sauce, peanut butter, eggs, and Raid. You can put the first two on anything, and it only makes it more delicious. Eggs are also more delicious then I remember them being, and you can also put them with everything. My roommates cook friend rice three times a day, and it is an amazing thing. It's always different, and you can put all sorts of veggies in it. And well raid is just great, it kills any kind of animal within a minute- although cockroaches struggle for a while. It was truly a fantastic invention. 

Something I will NEVER like / get use to / want, etc - chili pepper. Anything spicy. I think I've come a long way from what I would eat as a child - only hot dogs and mac & cheese (i would KILL for some mac and cheese right now) but spicy food is something my taste bud refuse to accept. Hoping I won't starve in Thailand.. 

Still making up for classes I missed when I was sick. Make up classes are always on Sunday and they really put a damper on the weekend. Also having trouble picking up internet and really hoping I don't have to start paying for it. They were talking about paying bills on Friends (it really is a huge part of my life) and I realized how much I don't miss paying bills. I have a really great set up here. 

Sorry for the randomness of this - it would be easier to write shorter entries more often but sometimes I work better this way. Still waiting for a package my parents sent about five weeks ago, so if you plan on sending something, account for the delay. Missing everyone!! xoxo.