New format! I get bored very easily, I like change, call it whatever you want to, it will probably happen again. I've added a fun "widget" (again, technology evades me, why is that the name?) with my favorite books, and if you want to be inside my head you should read them too. I just read The Dharma Bums by Jack Kerouac, and it was great. Just another reminder that I was born in the wrong generation. It touched on a lot of thoughts on spirituality that I've been contemplating lately, I love when books come into my life at the exact time I need them. I've always loved Kerouac, but I liked this book more then On The Road. Although I think I need to read that one again. 

Sorry I haven't really been around this month. I have been very busy spending extra time with my students outside of class. This semester I am teaching a lot more first year students, where as last semester I was with mostly last year students. They have even more of an innocence to them, and are so eager to learn. My students have the ability to make me feel really great about myself, with daily comments like "You look so lovely today!" but they also make me feel so insignificant sometimes. Not on purpose, but I just admire them so much. A question I often get asked is "What do you think of Vietnamese students compared to American students?" My answer is usually that Vietnamese students are much more dedicated, are such hard workers, and I admire them very much. That is the simplest way to put it so they understand me, but it is so true. They had to work really, really hard to get into University, and they work so hard while they are there. Not to mention that they are having a full conversation with an American - which just embarrasses me. I've LIVED in their country to six months and I can't hold a conversation (although, I have been having great exchanges in Vietnamese, which always makes me proud...) but I still feel inadequate that I don't speak another language. And I know, they have been studying since they were kids, and no one anywhere ever told me I should know a foreign language, so technically it's not my fault, but I'll take responsibility, and I'll study a new one when I get back. I can't decide between Spanish or French.. thoughts? And of course I'll keep up my Vietnamese. I found a few organizations in Boston for Vietnamese, and there is a larger number there then I realized, so hopefully I can find some way to keep a little bit of Vietnam in my life. But anyway, my students are amazing, so I'm trying to spend as much time with them as possible. Here are pictures of four of my favorites (I know, I shouldn't have favorites. But it's too hard not to..) they came to my house to cook me dinner, delicious Sweet Soup. I couldn't even tell you what is in it.. definitely sweet potatoes, a green vegetable, beans, coconut milk, some jelly thing, etc.... At first sight, it might not look appetizing, but trust me, it's delicious.

I also spent a day with my friend Angela (not a student, a girl a met through An) and we spent the entire day baking. She found me all of the ingredients (even chocolate chips!!!!) for chocolate chip cookies, and I made them from scratch. She had never had chocolate chip cookies before! I officially made her the first batch of homemade cookies ever (and her mom, who also loved them, and continued to pass them around to their neighbors, and then invite me to her sister's wedding...) We also made a homemade apple pie which was the first time that I ever made a pie on my own. We even made the crust, which I've never done. I also decided last minute to throw strawberries in, and it was so good. A successful day of baking always puts me in a good mood. Her mom also made me dinner that night, and it was as delicious as I could have asked for. I'm pretty lucky.

We had a great weekend in HCMC. I met a lot of great people that are teaching English there and it is always so refreshing to talk to them. There are so many people out here doing this that stay for longer, throughout their twenties. It reassures me that its OK to think about that, even though a majority of Americans don't understand it. Part of what makes me feel comfortable enough to go back to Boston is the fact that Vietnam will always be here, and I feel like I will always be welcome to come back. There will always be an opportunity and I will always have friends here.  Again, I'm pretty lucky.

I wanted to write an unofficial (and too early, as this is bound to happen a lot more often over the next two months) Thank You to everyone who has helped me through this process. It's been incredible, but I have had bouts of homesickness and most recently, general freak outs about returning back to America. There are so many people I can talk to, and some of you have helped without even realizing it. I'm especially grateful to Sarah Kaplan, who I would like to officially recognize as my life mentor :-) I'm really not sure she realizes how helpful she is or how thankful I am to have her in my life. She was the first person I talked to about wanting to go abroad, the person who pushed me (in the best way) to do it, and she is actually the person who found Teachers for Vietnam in the first place, because she talked me up to them while she was at a career fair and I was sitting on my butt at home. And still today, she is giving me advice and pushing me to go for what I want and to not accept any less. I love her for this. My new official motto (as of tonight) is that I will be "Kicking ass and taking names." So thanks for that. :-) I also want to thank Finn for being the most logical person I know, which I need in my life to offset the emotional decisions I make. He recently helped me put things into perspective, and I'm really, really grateful for it. It's really nice to find solace somewhere that you don't necessarily expect to find it.

Anyway, there are probably a million other things I want to share with you, but yet again I'm exhausted. I did want to tell you to read the blog White Hot Truth. It's currently my new obsession. I love where she is coming from and the way she does things. And while it's impossible to agree with everything someone says, I see eye to eye with her on a lot of points. My current favorite quote is from her, when describing tonglen meditation: "It's not as easy as it sounds. It may shatter you. But wouldn't that be grand? To be shattered?  To be so immensely open that you'd feel the truth..."  You can apply that to life in general if you are not into meditation, but I can't even begin to explain how powerful that is to me, and I absolutely love it. I'll leave it up to you to decipher on your own.

I see Whitney and Nikki in less than 48 hours!!! I think it's exactly what I need. I can't wait to share this with someone, and I could use a little Boston in my life. Last but NOT least, a picture of the newlyweds :-)

"The circumstances of existence are pretty glorious" - Jack Kerouac

It has officially been six months, today.

I am a very different person than I was six months ago. I'm a lot of the same person, but I am a stronger, more interesting version of myself. I feel completely comfortable and at home in a foreign country, and I'm incredibly happy these days. Moving to Vietnam was the best (so far) decision I have ever made, and if you are wondering if you should go abroad for a year , or any period of time, and do something similar (and a lot of you have mentioned this to me) my advice is yes, absolutely, go. 

I haven't written in a while, I'm suddenly ridiculously busy. In two days I taught nine classes (13 this week), and I'm still catching up to myself. I'm very happy about this though. I have realized that although I get a little crazy, I work best and am happiest when I am really busy. This is why I had three jobs my last (and hardest) semester in college. I need to be busy, I need post it notes and to do lists, otherwise what am I really doing with my time? 

I'm teaching at the private school again. I'm happy that I'm going to be making some money, and I really put my foot down as far as what I was willing to do. I am treated like a queen now. They are terrified of loosing me again, and are literally bending over backwards for me. I asked for Wednesday off next week and I got a text message response that said "Yes, of course. I will do anything for you." She meant it. They are doing everything possible to keep me around. One of the teachers even prepared my lessons for me on Thursday. I hate to say that I like this kind of treatment, but I don't hate it. 

I've officially accepted my fame here, I basically am a rockstar. Thao and I have been joking about it because she feels like my driver when we are together. Everyone stares at me every where I go. I've planted a permanent smile on my face and am welcoming the fame. This might never happen to  me again. I'm soaking it up.

I'm also doing some volunteer work editing documents for The Asia Foundation. It's proven to be difficult because I apparently do not know anything about grammar.  My weaknesses: commas (I use too many) apostrophe's (I just don't know all of the rules) and well, grammar. One of my pronunciation students asked for extra help for another class. Past participle clauses?  What? Let me call Wall High School and see if  they've ever heard of it. On a good note, I am a fabulous Pronunciation teacher. I'm still learning a lot while teaching, but I feel great about my classes, and most days I feel like I'm really helping. I'm also just a better teacher than last semester, more confident, I know my lesson plans, I know what to expect, I understand what my students are saying to me, etc. I don't know how anyone can do something like this for a short period of time. I've always been happy (even if I'm frustrated...) and always loved it here, but it took a WHILE for things to be this comfortable. 

I probably have a lot more to say but I'm exhausted, its 2:30 am and I have no idea why I am awake other then the fact that I am probably drinking too much coffee these days. Tomorrow morning An & I are hopping on a bus to Ho Chi Min City  (yes, Saigon is the same place) to have a pseudo Bachelorette Party. She doesn't know what they really are and I've never actually been to one, so basically we're just meeting up with our friend from Hanoi and going out for the night. It should be fun!

Quote of the moment:

"Dance, when you're broken open. 

Dance, if you've torn the bandage off.

Dance, in the middle of fighting.

Dance, in your blood.

Dance, when you're perfectly free." 

-Rumi

I don't know what this is and I don't remember where I found it, but i love it.

Why I am the happiest person in the world today, and why this will be the best four weeks ever:

1) WHITNEY AND NIKKI ARE COMING TO VISIT. On February 28th I will meet them at the airport, followed by the most exciting week of our lives. Not only am I (obviously) incredibly excited to see them, but I am excited for someone to witness this first hand, to see where I teach, hopefully meet some of my students, experience Vietnam. Sometimes I have trouble putting into words how amazing it is here, and now I will have proof that I actually am here doing this, someone to pinch me out of a dream, so to speak. 

2) On February 14th, Kristen and Shannon (two TfV teachers in Hanoi, equally amazing and incredibly fun to be around) are flying to HCMC. We'll spend the weekend there, followed by them coming to Can Tho for..

3) An's Wedding!!! I will get to go to a Vietnamese wedding, which was one of my goals, and I have no doubt it will be one big party, as I see two best friends get married and spend the days celebrating!!

4) This is post-four weeks, but worth mentioning. My friend Geoff is coming to visit in May, and we will backpack through Vietnam. I'm also making him come to Can Tho to experience my life for a few days, and then we will fly to Hong Kong for a few days, before flying back to Newark on May 25th. [Sidenote: If anyone is really good at looking up flights and can find me affordable flights from HCMC to Hong Kong around May 21st, I would love you forever.]

So many things keep popping up and I'm incredibly excited/happy. Starting to teach again has been great. I love all of my classes and all of my students. The only thing I'm worrying about is the fact that my visa expires on the 28th, and although I've done the paperwork to get it renewed, Vietnamese people seem to have a hard time understanding the word urgency. Right now it's just a waiting game. Hopefully I don't get kicked out of the country the same weekend Whit & Nik come to visit...

Why I'm the saddest person in the world today: 

I've been waiting for a package from Boston for about two months and the slip finally came today. (The post office gets my package, sends a slip to the university, and then I have to bring the slip and my passport to the post office to pick it up) Anyway, on top of being the happiest person in the world, I was SO excited to finally pick it up. When I got to the post office, they told me that the package has been there for weeks and they sent me three notices. The last day to pick it up was January 26th, and they mailed it back to the sender on the 28th. I JUST GOT THE NOTICE TODAY. So Whitney, I'm sorry. I'm incredibly sad about this but I don't know what happened. Hopefully the package comes back to you. I think the confusion was the fact that it was a holiday and the University was closed. I also think I just got screwed over. It's anyones guess. If you want to send it again, I still really really really want it. Although at this rate, I'll probably see you before it comes. Still, I think you should mail it again. (And bring more goodies with you. I'm being completely selfish about this.) Apparently it only took about two weeks to actually get here, and I'm going to talk to the University about it so hopefully I'll fix any problem. Trying to brush it off as a "When in Vietnam" but I was really looking forward to that package...

Random comments:

My roommates gave me my Thai name, based on the day and time I was born (and who knows what else): 

Samitha (pronounced SAM -E - TA, with a bit of a whiny edge to the end). It means smile & happy.

Something you might not know about me is that I love to multitask. Why this is good: It makes me feel important. Why this is bad: because sometimes I even do it while making breakfast, and inadvertently pour the coffee into the cereal bowl as if it were milk. I ate it anyway. 

The amount of "Obama Art" being made is ridiculous. If you're creative enough, I guess it's a good way to capitalize on the fact, but choi oi!  (That's 'oh my god' in Vietnamese, my favorite thing to say). Anyway, this one is my favorite and goes far and beyond the Obamicons, as cool as they are. 

I love to eat, but this is disgusting. I'm sure technically, its actually delicious, but what I mean to say is, this is why there is an obesity problem in America. Choi Oi. 

I can't believe this made it to the NYTimes. And yes, I've already done it. Don't judge me. More then a handful of my friends tagged me in it before I caved. Although lets face it, I would have done it regardless.

The coolest, weirdest thing I've ever seen.

Sidenote: I've since downloaded Google Earth, and it creeps me out. Kinda like how Skype creeps me out. Although it's also incredible that all of this is possible, I just don't understand it, and never will. 

---- I recently found out (thank you, facebook) that my vocal instructor from Hofstra died rather suddenly from a heart attack in her sleep. Although I was only there for a year, I know she was incredibly inspiring as an instructor, both for me and numerous other sopranos. And even though I pretended to be sick once in a while to skip voice lessons, I will never forget how much she taught me about how to use and train my voice. So, rest in peace Professor Beckmann, and my heart goes out to everyone who knew and loved her. -----

I have a lot to say tonight, which isn't surprising seeing as I write in this blog a LOT more then I thought I would. I'm slightly addicted. I keep being reminded of how many people are actually reading this and I suddenly feel very vulnerable. I've never been one to share too much and the fact that people I don't even know have access to this is very strange. However, I still have a million things to say so here I am anyway. 

I started teaching this week and I'm incredibly happy about it. I was on vacation for far too long. If I had more money to travel it would have been incredible, but because Can Tho was basically closed down during Tet, I was literally not doing anything and going slightly stir-crazy. Now all of the students are back and things are starting to pick up again. I am teaching mostly pronunciation classes to first year students, and one listening and speaking class to third year students. My new students are great (although I knew they would be) and some I had last semester, so it is nice to see familiar faces. I'm hoping to meet up with some of my students from last semester, and I'm working on learning some more Vietnamese. I will also start teaching at the private school again, because I do need the money. I had a lot of problems with this school in the beginning because they were over working me and I felt very exploited. I also think it was too much in the beginning. I was teaching 3x more then the other teachers and I was still going through culture shock, etc. Now, I am going to meet with the director and tell her what days I am willing to work and not be so open to any over-exposure. I know they want me to teach there, so I know they will do whatever I want. That is a terrible way of looking at it, but I need to set some boundaries for myself, and that is the way I need to go about it this time. I am, overall, looking forward to it because it means I get to meet more students. I only have three more months of teaching left and I can't believe how short that seems, so I am trying to do as much as possible.

Still in the works of volunteering with the Asia Foundation. I will be doing some translation work for them, and I am still waiting for them to finish the draft in Vietnamese, and then English, and then I'm going to "fix it." More on the details of the group and the proposal later, I hope to meet with them later this week.

I still spend most of my time with Thao, and we've had some really great conversations lately. It is nice to have more in-depth conversations, because with most of my students it is hard to cross the line between being someone to answer all of their questions and someone you can just talk with. Tonight Thao kept mentioning how sad she is going to be when I leave and how comfortable she is around me and how much she enjoys spending time with me. She says it is really different then when she spends time with her friends because she can be more honest in a way that the Vietnamese can't, and of course, she gets to practice English. I'm proud of how far she's come since I first met her and how much she is learning about American culture. She is also studying Vietnamese culture, which I find really interesting, because she notices that we handle situations differently and she was curious to see what the books said, to understand what we as foreigners need to know and what exactly those differences are. I thought that was an interesting way to look at things. Anyway, her comments really meant a lot. In moments when I can connect with someone on a deeper level, and when I know I have made a difference in someone's life, I am incredibly proud to be doing what I am doing. 

I've been contemplating life a lot, but I've noticed that it's not in the whiny, woe-is-me way that I use to. No matter which way you look at it, I've changed a lot since I've been here. I'm a completely different person, and I have no idea what I'm going back to. I've kept in really good touch with my friends, and I am closer to some people then ever, and I am really looking forward to spending the next few years in Boston. But things won't be the same. Or rather, things willbe the same but I will be different. I'm not really sure what to expect. A very interesting realization is that I was always very good at 'living in the past'. Now though, I seem to be living in the future. I don't know if this is good or bad. Ideally, I would like to live in the moment, and I actually think for the most part I do. But I'm over a lot of things that held me back, mostly emotionally, and I'm just so excited about the future and all of the opportunities I have that I can't stop thinking about the future. I'm not sure if this is making any sense, or means anything in the long run, it is just a realization I've come to. 

Another thing I have been spending a lot of time thinking about is my friends and the idea of home. I have always been surrounded by amazing people, and I have realized that where ever there are people that I love, that is where my home is. It's not a town, it's not a house.. I am most comfortable and most at-home when I am surrounded by the people I love. I assume that comes from the fact that I've moved around a lot, but it makes so much sense. I think I first realized this when Ocean Grove became part of my life. People that only spent 2 or 3 months together a year are the best friends you could possibly ask for. I am so proud of OG for having so many reunions. We have all lived in different places, but always come together for things like New Years Eve, or basically whenever there is a holiday and we have time off. I have to say that I am the worst, because once I moved to Boston I got sucked into my life there and I have missed quite a few things. But I know that if I can get there, it will be like going home again... if the party is in Garfield, or Philly, or where ever someone lives at that time... it will always be like going home again. I think the all time best quote to sum up Ocean Grove is from the Garden State (amazing movie) "Maybe that's all family really is, a group of people who miss the same imaginary place."  And then I found an incredible group of people in Boston, and even though some relationships come and go and things can get messy, I feel at home in Boston, and that in its self is an amazing realization to come to. Anyway, what got me thinking about all of this was reading Ben Casnocha's blog (LOVE him) and he mentioned a book he was reading called Hearth and the Cosmos: A Cosmopolite's Viewpoint by Yi-Fu Tuan. He talks about the tension between the "hearth" (family and local ties) and the "cosmos" (cities and external urban life). I encourage you to read the book if you're interested, although I haven't so I'm not entirely sure what I'm endorsing, except for Ben's opinion, but he copied two quotes that I found really interesting. Tuan writes, "The elite can have both world and home, they can be cosmopolitan and yet return to the hearth for nurturance and renewal." and, "The more Americans participate in... globalism, the more they learn for locality, tradition, and roots -- for the hearths and ethnos that they can directly experience and understand, for the small milieu that yields emotional satisfaction." I think it is an incredibly interesting topic and something that I have been thinking about a lot lately, so I felt it was worth sharing. Listen to the song "Hometown Glory" by Adele. It is one of my favorites, as she says "The people I have met / Are the wonders of my world."

A little note for everyone my age: Please stop getting engaged and married, I'm starting to feel really old. This past month I have heard of so many engagements, plans for engagements and weddings, it's starting to become quite overwhelming. When did I get old enough for my friends to start getting married? 

On that note, I have a very interesting blog to write about Marriage and the Vietnamese, but I'm too tired to write it now, and I have to wake up early to skype with my parents! So expect that next time. 

Here is a picture my friend took on a recent trip to Sapa. The major minority tribe in Sapa, H'Mongs, are often seen walking around with their babies in a basket on their back. Their clothing and jewelry is also usually very similar to this. You can see my pictures of Sapa, but I don't take many up-close-people pictures, and I thought this one was beautiful.