---- I recently found out (thank you, facebook) that my vocal instructor from Hofstra died rather suddenly from a heart attack in her sleep. Although I was only there for a year, I know she was incredibly inspiring as an instructor, both for me and numerous other sopranos. And even though I pretended to be sick once in a while to skip voice lessons, I will never forget how much she taught me about how to use and train my voice. So, rest in peace Professor Beckmann, and my heart goes out to everyone who knew and loved her. -----

I have a lot to say tonight, which isn't surprising seeing as I write in this blog a LOT more then I thought I would. I'm slightly addicted. I keep being reminded of how many people are actually reading this and I suddenly feel very vulnerable. I've never been one to share too much and the fact that people I don't even know have access to this is very strange. However, I still have a million things to say so here I am anyway. 

I started teaching this week and I'm incredibly happy about it. I was on vacation for far too long. If I had more money to travel it would have been incredible, but because Can Tho was basically closed down during Tet, I was literally not doing anything and going slightly stir-crazy. Now all of the students are back and things are starting to pick up again. I am teaching mostly pronunciation classes to first year students, and one listening and speaking class to third year students. My new students are great (although I knew they would be) and some I had last semester, so it is nice to see familiar faces. I'm hoping to meet up with some of my students from last semester, and I'm working on learning some more Vietnamese. I will also start teaching at the private school again, because I do need the money. I had a lot of problems with this school in the beginning because they were over working me and I felt very exploited. I also think it was too much in the beginning. I was teaching 3x more then the other teachers and I was still going through culture shock, etc. Now, I am going to meet with the director and tell her what days I am willing to work and not be so open to any over-exposure. I know they want me to teach there, so I know they will do whatever I want. That is a terrible way of looking at it, but I need to set some boundaries for myself, and that is the way I need to go about it this time. I am, overall, looking forward to it because it means I get to meet more students. I only have three more months of teaching left and I can't believe how short that seems, so I am trying to do as much as possible.

Still in the works of volunteering with the Asia Foundation. I will be doing some translation work for them, and I am still waiting for them to finish the draft in Vietnamese, and then English, and then I'm going to "fix it." More on the details of the group and the proposal later, I hope to meet with them later this week.

I still spend most of my time with Thao, and we've had some really great conversations lately. It is nice to have more in-depth conversations, because with most of my students it is hard to cross the line between being someone to answer all of their questions and someone you can just talk with. Tonight Thao kept mentioning how sad she is going to be when I leave and how comfortable she is around me and how much she enjoys spending time with me. She says it is really different then when she spends time with her friends because she can be more honest in a way that the Vietnamese can't, and of course, she gets to practice English. I'm proud of how far she's come since I first met her and how much she is learning about American culture. She is also studying Vietnamese culture, which I find really interesting, because she notices that we handle situations differently and she was curious to see what the books said, to understand what we as foreigners need to know and what exactly those differences are. I thought that was an interesting way to look at things. Anyway, her comments really meant a lot. In moments when I can connect with someone on a deeper level, and when I know I have made a difference in someone's life, I am incredibly proud to be doing what I am doing. 

I've been contemplating life a lot, but I've noticed that it's not in the whiny, woe-is-me way that I use to. No matter which way you look at it, I've changed a lot since I've been here. I'm a completely different person, and I have no idea what I'm going back to. I've kept in really good touch with my friends, and I am closer to some people then ever, and I am really looking forward to spending the next few years in Boston. But things won't be the same. Or rather, things willbe the same but I will be different. I'm not really sure what to expect. A very interesting realization is that I was always very good at 'living in the past'. Now though, I seem to be living in the future. I don't know if this is good or bad. Ideally, I would like to live in the moment, and I actually think for the most part I do. But I'm over a lot of things that held me back, mostly emotionally, and I'm just so excited about the future and all of the opportunities I have that I can't stop thinking about the future. I'm not sure if this is making any sense, or means anything in the long run, it is just a realization I've come to. 

Another thing I have been spending a lot of time thinking about is my friends and the idea of home. I have always been surrounded by amazing people, and I have realized that where ever there are people that I love, that is where my home is. It's not a town, it's not a house.. I am most comfortable and most at-home when I am surrounded by the people I love. I assume that comes from the fact that I've moved around a lot, but it makes so much sense. I think I first realized this when Ocean Grove became part of my life. People that only spent 2 or 3 months together a year are the best friends you could possibly ask for. I am so proud of OG for having so many reunions. We have all lived in different places, but always come together for things like New Years Eve, or basically whenever there is a holiday and we have time off. I have to say that I am the worst, because once I moved to Boston I got sucked into my life there and I have missed quite a few things. But I know that if I can get there, it will be like going home again... if the party is in Garfield, or Philly, or where ever someone lives at that time... it will always be like going home again. I think the all time best quote to sum up Ocean Grove is from the Garden State (amazing movie) "Maybe that's all family really is, a group of people who miss the same imaginary place."  And then I found an incredible group of people in Boston, and even though some relationships come and go and things can get messy, I feel at home in Boston, and that in its self is an amazing realization to come to. Anyway, what got me thinking about all of this was reading Ben Casnocha's blog (LOVE him) and he mentioned a book he was reading called Hearth and the Cosmos: A Cosmopolite's Viewpoint by Yi-Fu Tuan. He talks about the tension between the "hearth" (family and local ties) and the "cosmos" (cities and external urban life). I encourage you to read the book if you're interested, although I haven't so I'm not entirely sure what I'm endorsing, except for Ben's opinion, but he copied two quotes that I found really interesting. Tuan writes, "The elite can have both world and home, they can be cosmopolitan and yet return to the hearth for nurturance and renewal." and, "The more Americans participate in... globalism, the more they learn for locality, tradition, and roots -- for the hearths and ethnos that they can directly experience and understand, for the small milieu that yields emotional satisfaction." I think it is an incredibly interesting topic and something that I have been thinking about a lot lately, so I felt it was worth sharing. Listen to the song "Hometown Glory" by Adele. It is one of my favorites, as she says "The people I have met / Are the wonders of my world."

A little note for everyone my age: Please stop getting engaged and married, I'm starting to feel really old. This past month I have heard of so many engagements, plans for engagements and weddings, it's starting to become quite overwhelming. When did I get old enough for my friends to start getting married? 

On that note, I have a very interesting blog to write about Marriage and the Vietnamese, but I'm too tired to write it now, and I have to wake up early to skype with my parents! So expect that next time. 

Here is a picture my friend took on a recent trip to Sapa. The major minority tribe in Sapa, H'Mongs, are often seen walking around with their babies in a basket on their back. Their clothing and jewelry is also usually very similar to this. You can see my pictures of Sapa, but I don't take many up-close-people pictures, and I thought this one was beautiful.