Since I've been back in Vietnam, I've had many instances where I am literally thinking about how I'm going to write this in my blog when I get home, but once home, I'm usually at a loss for words. I've been struggling with how to explain some of my "every day life" situations to people who have never been here. It's much like taking pictures. As you can tell, I take a million pictures everywhere I go, but looking at them never does the subject any justice. Part of what is so amazing about being here is that I do get to share it with you, but its the hardest part to fulfill because no matter how many pictures I show you or how many stories I write, it will never describe exactly how I felt at that moment. For example, being in Kuala Lumpur, standing next to the Petronas Towers, which were the worlds tallest buildings until 2004, and are now the tallest twin buildings in the world. I took a million pictures and posted my favorites, but will you ever know how it felt standing there? It was incredible. 

 

I didn't take this picture.. but it's beautiful. And hey, I was there!

Anyway, since I've been back in Vietnam it has been really nice. It was a place I recognized as home, but it was still foreign to me. I thought I was going to have slight culture shock again after being in big cities for so long, but it wasn't anything like that. I knew this place, and I was so happy to be back. I spoke only in Vietnamese when I got off the airplane. Okay, so I can't "speak Vietnamese" but I can try, and I said every single thing I knew how to say, including tell a random stranger I was an English teacher at CTU, because that is the once sentence I've perfected. It was comfortable to be back. After being really homesick before I left for vacation I was considering moving, and I'm so glad I didn't. A good rule of thumb I can apply to a lot of things I've ever experienced is "When it's good, it's great, but when it's bad, it really sucks." not one of my finer quotes, but it's as simple and as complicated as that. In a way I think that it's good, I don't really do anything half way, but thats always been true. When I'm homesick I want to book the first flight home, but when I'm enjoying everything, I can picture myself here forever. Well maybe not forever. but certainly longer then this. In a way I think I'd rather have it this way. But when I'm homesick, its so hard to be away from everyone.

I haven't had many responsibilities lately, but it's been nice to just hang out. I've been spending a lot of time on the internet - it's amazing how much you can find. I use to hate the internet, and well i certainly have a love/hate relationship with facebook, but I've found so many interesting things. There are countless blogs - on anything you want. I use to hate them but since I've started writing one I really enjoy reading others' perspectives. I've also been doing a lot of research on sex trafficking, which is the field I'm looking to get into in the future. (I know music will make a way into my career one day.) There is so much I want to talk about, learn about, but mainly it all comes back to one thing: what can I do? My only answer right now is to share with you some of the interesting things I find. First, here are a few facts about human trafficking today, also known as slavery in the 21st century. The average age of a woman getting into prostitution is 14. The youngest is 5. A few stories that really got me thinking: A mother sold her own daughter to sex slavery in order to obtain money for their family. The mother would boast to her neighbors about how her daughter was living in Cambodia and making all of this money, and she had a nice house and car to show for it. She left out all of the details, but had no problem showing off all of her new "things" to her friends. It wasn't until her daughter contracted AIDS and all of the money had gone toward her hospital bills that her mother was ashamed for what she had done. Now at the age of 27, they are waiting for her daughter to die. And she was lucky. Her mother, being the one the owned her, brought her home and brought her to the hospital. Most girls living in brothels don't have this luxury. Another disturbing fact: The problem with fighting this crime in Cambodia is that the government is corrupt. The police are often customers to these brothels. Not only do they know what's going on, but they are having sex with these girls. When a brothel gets found, and authorities go to "take it down" in many cases, the police warn them ahead of time and by the time the cops get there, its empty. The story that weighs on my heart the most was one girl the age of nine, who entered herself into prostitution to make money for her father. The stories get worse. I put a link up of an op-ed column in the New York times I found. His name is Nicholas D. Kristof, and he's done a lot of research on sex trafficking in Phnom Penh, Cambodia, which was not only my first stop on vacation, but the girl I met there was doing work with the Somaly Mam Foundation, which is another website you should look at, and which is how my interest in all of this got started. (How was that for a run on sentence, Miss Samantha? I swear my English is getting progressively worse.) Anyway, his latest article is just one small testament of how horrible it is for these girls that get trafficked. Be sure to watch the video he added. It will change the way you think about slavery, and hopefully get at least one person worked up enough to do something about it. You can find the article and video here. If you have time, read his other articles too, I think he's a great writer, and he writes about other topics, too. There are a lot of videos and articles you can look at online, and I encourage you to explore these. If for nothing else, just to educate yourself. A little while back, I was talking to someone I was very close to about new things I was learning about the treatment of animals and the meat industry in America and how I felt about it, and he replied with the very well known "Ignorance is Bliss." Really? It's true, what you don't know can't hurt you, but are you just willing to accept that? I'd like to believe that we can gain knowledge without losing the joys of innocence. Of course there is a balance, but how can you just accept ignorance as an answer? That was (the beginning) of my realizing that I'd rather not spend my time with people that think that way.You can argue it, and I can see where that particular person was coming from, but I disagree. And I'd rather not surround myself with people that can settle for that as an answer. 

Well I certainly can digress. Back to Vietnam...

I've been spending a lot of time with my friend Thao. My first day back she let me drive her motorbike! Upon returning to Can Tho I had it engraved in my mind that I was going to rent one. They look easy enough, and especially when it gets unbearably hot, I will not want to be riding my bike around. So Thao put her life in my hands and taught me how to drive. It was the most exciting thing I've done in a while, but I was going ridiculously slow and in circles, because turning left is the single scariest thought that crossed my mind. And while I was driving "on the road," once we got to big road that had a lot of traffic I pulled over and made her switch haha. She's determined to let me do it again, but every time I say.. maybe next time. I think maybe I'll let her drive me around until I stop being scared. We eat A LOT of food, drink a lot of bubble tea, play badminton, and my favorite thing, just drive around the city. There's not a whole hell of a lot to do, but I love just driving around. And Tet is coming fast and the streets are so busy and decorations are going up everywhere.. more on Tet at a later date. Thao and I also have had some really good conversations. She's becoming more and more comfortable speaking English and  even corrects herself, which is good because as we both realized yesterday, I tend to not notice her most common mistakes anymore. I think it's because my ears have adjusted to "Asian English" and for the most common mistakes (ex: When do you come back to America) I usually miss the problem. 1) Every student makes that mistake, mainly because that is the literal translation from Vietnamese to English and 2) I hear it so often now I understand what they are asking and just answer the question, forgetting I'm the English teacher. 

Really Long story short: I'm really happy to be back. I love Can Tho and everything about this experience, even when is sucks. Last night, driving around with Thao, the thought crossed my mind that I was leaving soon and I got sad. Isn't that crazy? It's too soon to be getting sad. But in the happiest moments, you never want something to end. I've also come to LOVE my roommates. They are leaving in about three weeks, which I am pretty sad about, it was lonely before they got here. And it wasn't that I didn't like them, but I was kind of hoping for Western roommates (albeit probably European). That was so silly. It's been so much fun living with girls from Thailand. They are my age, but with the innocence level, it's was very strange at first. But coming back, I love it! They laugh at the silliest things, and are ridiculously happy. They are great cooks, and kind of treat me like they are my mother, but in a way it's nice. It's nice getting to know people like them, and I'm sad that they are leaving soon.

On other news - I think I'm moving to Boston when I come back. I've been pretty up in the air about it, and I have a lot of different feelings about it, but the more I start to tell people the more I think it's the right decision. And maybe it's not forever, but I think it's okay. At first I was skeptical and well I don't want to bore you with the details, but even through all of it, I still think its the right decision. If its not, I can always come back here next year, or move somewhere else. The thing about an experience like this is it opens your mind up to so many different opportunities. Half of me wants to settle and half of me wants to be a nomad for the rest of my life, but all of me knows that nothing is permanent,  and I think that is the one thing I can be sure of. I get a little disappointed when people think they can't change where they are in life, even if they are miserable and now exactly what will make them happy. Some people aren't fortunate enough to believe in the fact that things can change. Digression again. So there it is, in writing, I'm moving back to Boston. 

A higher note to end on, and one that is impossible to digress on: I LOVE FRUIT. I decided today, a little while ago, that I am going to buy Pineapple and Dragon fruit, among a few others, every day. Maybe not every day, especially when my roommates leave, but there will ALWAYS be fresh pineapple in my fridge because it costs me the equivalent of .30 cents, and as much as I love Haymarket, I doubt I will ever be able to re-live this experience. And they are just so good!