The Travel Diaries.

I know it's only been four days, but I am seriously in love with Southeast Asia. Not only does it have some of most beautiful structures, pagodas, temples, and beaches (everything, really) it's history is amazing. Its amazing that I'm constantly learning.

Summery: First I took a bus to Chau Doc, which is on the border of Vietnam. I hired a motorbke (probably too much money, but he spoke English well and I liked him) and saw a few of the pagodas, and drove up Sam Mountain (really more of a hill) and watched the sunset over the mountains in the distance: to the left, Vietnam, to the right, Cambodia. It was beauitful. It poured rain on the way back to my hotel, so I ended up just relaxing there for the night and doing some reading / trip planning.

The next morning I took a speed boat to Phnom Penh, Cambodia! I've been here since. Through a friend of a friend I met up with some expats and celebrated Thanksgiving with them! The night before I went to their house and helped with the chopping/cutting while drinking wine and listening to Frank Sinatra. They have a really nice house, and it was great to talk to them. Then on Thanksgiving I went over early to help, and there ended up being about 20 people there. It was nice because I was not the only new face, everyone seemed to be a friend of a friend, which is part of what I love about the expat community in general. Thanksgiving dinner was delicious, everything homemade. I've never particularly been a fan of the holiday but it was so great! I piled food on my plate, mixed things together and everything tasted amazing. I had great conversations with everyone (almost!) about what they are doing here and how they like it, it's so great, everyone has a different story and a different experience. They also have the cutest puppy in the world, and I think it may have been one of my favorite Thanksgivings to date. We ended the night (a 1:30am decsion) going out dancing, which was a fun night cap.

Today I did/am doing all of the touristy things, and I have learned an incredible amount about the history of Cambodia. I have a LOT to write about this, and other side stories but my time here is up! I hope everyone had a good holiday. I have so much to tell you I wish I had the time but the Royal Palace and the Silver Pagoda is calling me...

Ps. I'm terrible at buying gifts/souveniers, even for myself. If you want something, you're going to have to be specific.

Pps. If you leave a comment on my blog, you might want to mention who you are, because there are a ton of Anonymus postings and well I just can't read minds.

Miss you, love you, but generally don't want to come home :)

I know I haven't written in a while, but I've been very busy! The semester is over, and I am officially a teacher! I have given midterms, finals, and final course grades. It has been a roller coaster of emotions and I am completely in love with this country, and specifically with Can Tho. I have so much to say but no idea where to start, and nothing I say will fully explain how I feel. I am overwhelmed with emotions!

I leave for vacation tomorrow morning! By Wednesday morning I will be in Phnom Penh, Cambodia where I will celebrate Thanksgiving with a group of Americans I know through a friend of a friend (oh to travel!) Then by the weekend I will be relaxing on the beautiful beaches of Sihanoukville. Other then that, I have very little plans, and I'm looking forward to it. 

I wish I had more time to talk, but my head is trying to figure out what to pack and trying to stay awake long enough to do so, so I can't write much, but keep writing even if I don't get back write away. You guys have all been the best supporters I could ever ask for, and I can't wait to share my upcoming vacation with you!! Have a great Thanksgiving, and I'll be in touch soon! 

"The joy of life comes from our encounters with new experiences, and hence there is no greater joy than to have an endlessly changing horizon, for each day to have a new and different sun." -Into the Wild

An interesting thought to sleep on... or wake up to, depending on how you look at it.

"Everybody is talking about crisis, the end of the world, the crash of the stock markets, etc... But in my generation, the hippie generation, we didn't have money as our ultimate goal, and I think that now we have adapted ourselves, or were forced to adapt ourselves to a new reality. 

Don't you think that this is a new beginning, a new beginning for us to see the world differently from what society has forced us to see?" - Paulo Coelho

Sorry I haven't been around lately. I'm swamped with finals and grading. Other then that I've been incredibly introspective and googling everything possible for next year. This experience has opened my mind up to a lot of different options I didn't know existed, and sometimes I'm overwhelmed by the amount of things I can do. Sometimes though, I just want things to be simple. Is it possible to want two incredibly different things? For now, I'm considering a change of pace here in Viet Nam. More on that later.

People from home have been surprising me, both for the good and the bad, so I'm trying to work all of that out in my head. Distance is an interesting thing. I miss Boston, and fall of last year. Which is also an interesting thing because it was one of the more emotional times in my life, but through it I made some of my best friends. I'm craving a social life, of any kind. I'm definitely not made to be in isolation. Even when I do something, its so different here. Anyway, the jury is still out on everything, and I don't have much to talk about but I wanted you all to know I was alive and kickin'. 

This morning one of my students woke me up (9am on a sunday morning!) She was at my door and wanted to make me breakfast. While I was staring at her and contemplating ways to say no she said "I already bought everything." So basically, I didn't have a choice. So I took a few minutes to change out of my pajamas and sucked it up. Then in the middle of eating she randomly gets up and says okay, time for me to go now! Not sure I'll ever get over the bluntness of some things. 

In one day I re-read The Secret Life of Bees. The first time I read that book I had a serious emotional connection to it,  and I brought it with me in case I needed to read it again. Apparently I did. Is it weird when a book is comforting? Apparently the movie is out at home / will be soon. Let me know your thoughts. The cast sounds great, but I'm not sure I want to see it. Some books can be ruined, and I don't want that to happen with this one. But anyway, read the book if you haven't. 

Everything else is going well, just the last week of the semester crunch and countdown 'til I leave for Cambodia (10 days!) I haven't fallen in love with skype as much as most people abroad have, but I have been catching up with some people via phone.. I think the video part is too weird. Anyway, if you want me to call you leave your number because I seem to have misplaced my phone charger. But I've loved talking to people, sometimes a phone conversation is so simple and exactly what I need. Everyone was out tonight for Mary's birthday in the city and they passed the phone around, and even though it was the same minute long conversation with everyone, it was really nice to hear everyones voice. I love you guys! I'll try to write again before I leave for vacation (and I'll try to write back to my emails too.. they seem to be piling up - sorry!) A quote I just found: 

"We beach kids have it easier, our oceans always listening, whispering back in waves that the world is big, horizons always inviting us to dream."

So many things happen on a day to day basis, I'm sure there is a lot I've yet to mention. Everything is going so well, I really love it here. Only two weeks left of the semester! It is nice because I don't really have any lesson planning left, but more grading, so I'm not sure which I'd prefer. Then I'm getting a visit from some of the people from Teachers for Vietnam, which I am really excited about. I really want to share this with someone, and even though I think they have been here before, I'm sure it is different then when they were last here, and I'm happy to be able to experience that with them. Then vacationnnn!!!! I cannot wait.

 

I put up a new album of pictures! There are a few pictures of my roommates, and a Thai meal they cooked for some of their friends one night that we had on our floor! Throughout the album are pictures of my three senior classes, as well as a few pictures I took on campus just because it was a particularly beautiful day. Then there are a few pictures around Can Tho. One of my students, Thao, took me on a mini tour one afternoon, and we actually went some places I had never been before, which I was amazed at because the city isn't very big. We went to this part that is being completely remodeled. Right now the only way to get into Can Tho is by ferry, but they are in process of building a bridge. It was suppose to be done by the end of the year, but there was an accident, and then the usual setbacks, so no one is really sure when it is going to be done (well no one I've talked to about it.) Thao took me to the end of the bridge where everyone will be able to drive into Can Tho. It is this beautiful countryside-like part of the city, I was able to grab a few pictures while on a motorbike (I've obtained almost-perfect balance.)  The thing that really got to me was the construction - everywhere. There are plans to build this huge resort type building. As soon as the bridge is built they are expecting an onslaught of tourists, and are preparing for it. I have no idea when everything will be done, I'm sure not before I leave, but it was kind of sad to see it all. One part of me is happy because it will be great for the economy, but another part of me knows that Can Tho will never be the same - it will never be the same city that I have fallen in love with. I guess I have to suck it up and be happy for them, but a very weird feeling came over me as I drove around and saw all the construction and pictures massive hotels packed with foreigners. As much as I sometimes crave more of a social life, I have to say that I like it better here without all of the hype. Even driving down to Ninh Kieu Key, the tourist part of Can Tho, is not that far, and is usually filled with foreigners, but I never go down there, and when I do I like to go during the day when it isn't packed. You can go restaurants serving western food, but it is overpriced and that good, and if I eat at local places, the food is amazing and I spend about 50 cents. Anyway, I suppose I can muster up enough happiness for them. 

The last few pictures were from friday night. We actually went out, which is uncommon for us. The true celebration was "My Birthday." Julia and I both have June birthdays, so we won't be able to celebrate them here. So we decided to pick new birthdays. Since we won't be here for our half birthdays either, I picked the month before and Julia's will be next semester. So, Friday was my birthday. It was really sort of underwhelming, I've never really had good luck when it comes to birthdays, but anyway it was fun to go out dancing. So the pictures are of my friends who came out for the "big day." 

I finished reading Catfish & Mandala, I highly recommend it to anyone who wants a little more info on Vietnam today (although I think the book was written in '99?) But still - more of the Vietnam you should know about. Also, you should read this. The author taught at the exact same post I am teaching at last year, with a different program. He lived in the house next to me (now occupied by Julia & Alice.) I don't know him, but  I came across this article, and thought you might enjoy it - I literally could have written it, except he seems to be a better writer.

Everything else is going really well. I had one of my classes over for dinner tonight, they are so great. I have some pictures that will be up eventually, but they made fresh spring rolls and fried spring rolls, and of course there was a lot of fruit. My roommates also joined us, which was a lot of fun. It was also nice because they were asking them all sorts of questions about Thailand, and I got a little break. After we ate everyone started singing songs. My roommates sang Thai songs and my students sang some english songs (that I didn't know, which was embarrassing) and Vietnamese songs. We were all sitting in a circle singing songs and I was thinking this is just such a great experience, and I will miss this so much. Isn't that crazy? Thinking about things I'll miss already? I think thats a good sign though, things are just really great and I'm realizing how different everything is and some things I just won't want to leave, my students are definitely number one. Okay, I'll REALLY miss the food, but I don't think its fair to put that first. Anyway, the best part of the singalong was when a crab walked into my house. Thats right, a LARGE crab, just walked through the front door. I was like ummm that's never happened before and I'm not really sure what to do! Luckily I had one male student and he picked it right up and took it outside. Like nothing weird happened. Oh, Vietnam.

Fun fact: If you google my name, you can find a lot of other Samantha Thornleys, none particularly interesting. What you can find is stats from a cross country race I ran in high school, an NEU article with a picture of me with the MEISA crew & John Esposito, and my blog. Is that all suppose to help me get a job? At least nothing embarrassing is floating around out there, although my time in that race was terrible. I'm sure there are a million other things I want to say but I'm exhausted, so I hope everyone is doing well and if I haven't heard from you in a while, you should probably e-mail me. xoxo.

Sometimes I have so much to say I don't know where to get started, and I don't even want to try. Now is one of those times.

Case and point: I started this blog yesterday and Im still fixing it. I apologize if my thoughts are all over the board. 

Everything is really amazing. I've finally (for the first time in my life, perhaps) stopped over analyzing everything. Things will happen in time, and somehow something great will happen, and it will be what it is suppose to be. It's as simple and as complicated as that. 

I love getting unexpected e-mails. 

I just bought a one way ticket from Bangkok to HCMC, which means I'll be celebrating NYE in Bangkok, and I have about five weeks before that to get to Bangkok. my route will be Cambodia - Laos- Thailand. Nothing is official yet, except my flight home, but at least its motivation to get going on my planning. Only three more weeks of classes left! 

I've become obsessed with Top40 music. I've recently downloaded Britney Spears. I never gave her enough of a chance. I'm learning how to love music again, and I'm very happy about this. If you have anything worth listening to, send it my way. 

One of my students gave a presentation on Paris Hilton. Her closing statement was "Even though she was in prison, she can do a lot of things that we can't." I guess you can't argue with that. 

Vietnam. Whereee to begin. I feel like I have been talking about myself so much I haven't given anyone a very good portrayal of the place I'm growing to know and love. Up until now my time here has been a huge personal growth experience, so it was good to get all of that out. That is a big part of why I did this in the first place. But I'm moving forward, and I really want everyone to know and understand my day to day life . So I'll try to explain everything as best I can from now on.

I've settled into a pretty routine schedule. The morning is coffee/reading time. The day is filled with classes / grading / lesson planning (almost done!) / coffee & food. Depending on the weather I go for a run. It has cooled off a LOT since I first got here. It's been pretty rainy the past week, but I'll take it if it brings the cool weather. It should be this nice until March, where I might die from the heat. Anyway, then at night it's dinner and watching Friends with Julia and Alice. We've made this an every night occurrence (not sure what we will do when we finish the series..) It is something we all look forward to, and it is really out only time to just relax together. It is definitely the all american TV show, although the views of NYC make me miss it a lot. I finish the night off with a walk. Sometimes I do it after dinner, depends on the weather and if someone wants to come with me. I love walking at night - its a great time to just relax and think about things, or have a great conversation, or just listen to music. It is great when my iPod creates a great shuffle playlist - sometimes it just knows what you need to listen to. Other times I want to throw it away. I miss walking in Boston at night, although not in the cold, so I'm happy to be able to do it all year here. I missed the first snowfall!? Before halloween? Really? What happened to global warming?

It is amazing the things I am use to. As I sit here at the coffee shop, there is a little kid standing next to me, holding on to my chair, breathing down my back and staring at my computer. Five minutes ago he was crying hysterically trying to get my attention. Before that, an older woman was at my side. They are trying to sell me something, usually lottery tickets. I usually just don't look at them and they go away eventually. But I'm not even bothered by it anymore. Also, traffic. I saw a car driving on the road today and I thought 'hm, that's weird.' That's when I realized I've come full circle to accepting life here as "normal." I can't even imagine what reverse culture shock is going to do to me. 

My favorite thing to do is take a food tour. I invented & named this myself, but it truly is amazing. I walk (or bike) and just stop places and buy something to eat. Every couple of feet there is a stand where people sell some sort of snack food. My favorite snack is bananas grilled in sticky rice. My second favorite is this coconut patty thing. Another favorite is fried dough. It is a few blocks from where we live, and only there at night, but sometimes we walk all the way there and buy fried dough or sweet bread -if one of us have a bad day, there is without fail a trip to the fried dough lady. Another favorite meal is a breakfast sandwich - Banh Mi Oopla.It is a bread roll with egg, cucumber & tomato, soy sauce, some weird looking spread, and something else weird on top. It is delicious. The funniest thing is not knowing what you are eating. At home I would NEVER do that, wouldn't even consider it because I don't like a lot of things. It isn't really an option here. It has become fun though, and whatever on that sandwich is delicious! Another great snack is sticky rice - its just sticky rice rolled into a ball and there is a salt/sugar concoction thrown on top and it is wrapped up in some sort of paper and you can buy it randomly on the side of the road. The best thing about a food tour is you never know what you are going to get. Every street is different, and there are different people selling different types of food depending on the time of day. I have a few favorites (I call them the banana lady and the banh mi lady) who know me and know what I like and get it right every time. The fried dough lady always laughs at us when we get there because we get way more then a Vietnamese person would. I bet you thought I was kidding when I said my days revolve around food...

For the most part, I've stopped thinking about next year. Well, I've stopped obsessing and making myself crazy about it. It still comes up with other people and everyone else is thinking about it, but I think I've turned that part of my brain off. I just don't want to deal with it right now. I'm still open to ideas, I'm certainly not ruling out anything just yet. But I'm getting a really good since of what I want / don't want in my life and I'm basing it on me, not on other people. This is the first time in my life I'm not "with" someone. Isn't that crazy. Even in the in-between time, I always seem to have someone. Its completely liberating and terrifying at the same time. But again, a big part of why I cam here. 

I do miss socializing. I miss having a lot of people around, calling / texting / just generally being able to hang out with different people. I'm sick of facebook being the only way to get in touch with someone and I'm actually forgetting how to act in normal situations - which was apparent last night when we went to a party. It was the first in a while an we met more foreigners (yes, more Germans) and we realized that besides the three of us, we really don't get out much. There isn't anything to do and we are literally forgetting how to talk to people other than our students. I wish I was exaggerating, but I'm not. But I'm not homesick anymore and this doesn't upset me for the most part. I've reached a very comfortable point. I was reminded yesterday of how comfortable I am when someone was talking about all of the interesting and exciting things here. Since things have become so normal, I forget that - wow I'm actually in Vietnam, and there are crazy things going on all around me that I will never see again in the rest of my life, and some of them are really ridiculous. I want to keep remembering to soak it all up and not forget how crazy it is that I am actually here. 

Reading Catfish & Mandala by Andrew X. Pham- I highly recommend it. I'm not done with it yet, but it is about a Viet - Kieu who takes a bike trip through Vietnam. It is a very accurate portrayal of this amazing country, especially its progress and the things that are really frustrating. I'm obviously not dealing with the same things he is, but to a certain extent I can relate to some of the things he talks about. Everything he says is very real, so if you're interested, his portrayal of Vietnam is much better than anything I could ever write. There are some great lines in the book. One is, "Vietnam is a country of food, a country of skinny people obsessed with eating." That's exactly how I feel. At least in the Mekong Delta it is. Another, "How can people refuse to help when they are living in a country where a teenager can earn more money in a day than a Vietnamese teacher earns in a month?" Another really interesting line is "I am in awe of the Vietnamese. I admire them. I respect them, but what I really want is to like them, to find them likable." I suppose you have to read the story to fully understand, but his view on everything is just very real, and very true. The people he meets on his journey put things into perspective for him. Again, I'm not good at explaining all of this. Read the book and then maybe we can talk about it.

One reoccurring frustration is the idea that all foreigners are rich. It is frustrating to argue this with people because a dollar goes so far here. Especially bargaining - I always feel bad because I don't want to be taken advantage of just because I am white - but in retrospect was that 25 cents really worth anything to me? It means a whole lot more to them and I understand that so it makes me feel guilty. But in American standards I pretty much have nothing, plus I'm way in debt after college loans. People always ask me where I have been in Asia and when I start to talk of my travel plans, sometimes I hear myself from their perspective and I just have to stop talking. It is so cheap for me to travel here I plan on taking advantage to see as much as possible... but people who have lived in Can Tho their whole lives don't have the same opportunity. Most of my students have not even been to Hanoi - something I've already done. Let alone another country  - and I plan on going to four. So they charge me more because they "know" I have it. And who am I to argue, really. But sometimes it gets so frustrating. I was looking at flights online and my roommate was helping me with the conversion rates and one flight was a lot more then I expected and I was like oh wow too much - and she said "Why aren't you rich?" Maybe she caught me on a bad day, but I looked her straight in the eye and said "No- not all Americans are rich." And walked away. So much for me trying to open up her mind, and I'm sure I will get another chance, but sometimes I just can't take the assumption.

My students: they always cover their mouths when they giggle. It is more of an "I'm shy" thing, but it's really funny. It's even funnier when the guys do it. Girls hold hands all of the time. I've seen people holding hands while riding bikes- I don't understand it but it's really cute. And guys.. they don't hold hands, but they put an arm over the shoulder and walk down the street that way. I've already mentioned that they just have this innocent to them - its so different. In a way we are growing more immature, but in a good way. It is nice to not be so serious all the time. I look at them - most of my students just a year younger then me -  and realize it is ridiculous to take things so seriously, I've lightened up quite a bit.

Things I have a newfound appreciation for: soy sauce, peanut butter, eggs, and Raid. You can put the first two on anything, and it only makes it more delicious. Eggs are also more delicious then I remember them being, and you can also put them with everything. My roommates cook friend rice three times a day, and it is an amazing thing. It's always different, and you can put all sorts of veggies in it. And well raid is just great, it kills any kind of animal within a minute- although cockroaches struggle for a while. It was truly a fantastic invention. 

Something I will NEVER like / get use to / want, etc - chili pepper. Anything spicy. I think I've come a long way from what I would eat as a child - only hot dogs and mac & cheese (i would KILL for some mac and cheese right now) but spicy food is something my taste bud refuse to accept. Hoping I won't starve in Thailand.. 

Still making up for classes I missed when I was sick. Make up classes are always on Sunday and they really put a damper on the weekend. Also having trouble picking up internet and really hoping I don't have to start paying for it. They were talking about paying bills on Friends (it really is a huge part of my life) and I realized how much I don't miss paying bills. I have a really great set up here. 

Sorry for the randomness of this - it would be easier to write shorter entries more often but sometimes I work better this way. Still waiting for a package my parents sent about five weeks ago, so if you plan on sending something, account for the delay. Missing everyone!! xoxo.